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The Age When You Should Stop Doing Everything

Now that you're in your 20's, it's time to make the switch from posters to pictures. Keep hanging stuff wherever you live, but try and stick to portraits, framed pictures, or artwork. That Zac Efron poster can be removed now.
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Credit: Flickr/Alec Couros (edited)

There comes a time in everyone's life when they're forced to give up on something that they love. For example, growing up, I was always very serious about basketball. It was my entire life. I ate, slept, and breathed basketball from the time I got up in the morning until the time I sunk my last jumper and went to bed.

However, I was also realistic about it. By the time I hit 16 and my stack of Division 1 college recruitment letters was about as high as my stack of Nobel Peace Prizes, I knew that I wasn't going to be an NBA All-Star. It was then that I gave up on my dream of being a pro athlete, because I didn't want to be the delusional 24-year-old sending highlight tapes to pro teams.

Which is to say, sometimes you need to say "enough is enough" on important aspects of your life. These are the ages you should throw in the towel for pretty much everything.

Age 3: Sucking your thumb
Beyond this age it's only acceptable if you notice melted chocolate or barbecue sauce or some other tasty foodstuff you don't want to waste on said thumb.

Age 5: Getting your butt wiped by others
This is arguably the scariest part about being a parent. Sure, there's a ton of pressure and responsibility, but none more daunting than having to clean the crap from their offspring's tuchus. Do them a favor and learn to do it yourself as quickly as possible.

Age 6: Sleeping in your parents' bed
You have your own bed. Use it. Nightmares and "can't sleep" aren't valid excuses to mess with your parents anymore. They have work in the morning and deserve a little bit of rest at night without their kid sprawled out between them.

Age 7: Crapping your pants
You should already be well-past potty trained, but even "accidents" should be a thing of the past at this point. You're at the age where you can consciously control your bowel movements. It's time to do so.

Age 10: Believing In Santa Claus
If you're older than 10 and still believe in a magical fat man who delivers presents all across the world, then your gullibility as well as your home-security practices are seriously questionable. Why would they advertise Christmas presents on television if Santa is the one building them all in the North Pole? Huh kid?!

Age 13: Writing exclusively with pencils
There comes an important point in everyone's life that often goes un-noticed and unspoken. It signifies growth a person's entry into maturity. Of course, I'm talking about the switch from pencils to pens. Never mind puberty -- this is the real transition into adulthood.

Age 14: Trick-or-treating
Obviously, everyone loves free candy. However, once you've reached the age where you can attend a party or some sort of social gathering on Halloween, it's no longer acceptable to dress up and ring doorbells.

Age 15: Accidentally calling the teacher "mom"
You'll never live it down come age 15. Especially if the teacher is a dude.

Age 18: Believing you'll go pro in sports
It's time to face it: If you're the same age as some of the guys/girls getting drafted, and your stock isn't too hot, then it's time to realize you aren't going to make it. Unless you're LeBron dressed up as a teenager, for some reason.

Age 20: Taping posters to your bedroom wall
Now that you're in your 20's, it's time to make the switch from posters to pictures. Keep hanging stuff wherever you live, but try and stick to portraits, framed pictures, or artwork. That Zac Efron poster can be removed now and stored safely somewhere private. Or framed, because you're a grownup.

Age 24: Wearing Ed Hardy and a bottle's worth of cologne to the club
Don't be that guy. Please, just don't. Not only will you be the largest jerk imaginable, but you'll look old and depressing while you're at it. Being a club jerk is bad enough as it is when you're 19, but the 25-year-old who still does it is just... sadder.

Age 25: Working for free
Unless you're in med school or have an internship that will greatly help your career, it's time to stop working for free. You're an adult with formidable skills (probably?), and you deserve to be compensated for what you bring to the table.

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