Donald Trump, Bedminster National Golf Club, New Jersey
Steve Bannon: So we need to come up with a response to the latest threats from the putz with the bad haircut and small hands.
Donald Trump: (Begins tweeting) That’s FAKE NEWS! And my hands are not small! SAD!
Steve Bannon: Donald, we’re talking about Kim Jong. Wait a minute! This just in! The latest polls show that you have the highest ratings of any president in the history of the world!
Donald Trump: Ok. That’s more like it! Can I tee off now?
Stephen Miller: Anyway, I think it should be something catchy, something that would show the devastation that could be catastrophic if they don’t stop focusing on this Russian investigation---err, uh…I mean, that very bad man, Kim Jong.
Steve Bannon: Yeah, something that sends a strong message to the short-fingered vulgarian with the nasty ‘do’ who doesn’t seem to understand diplomatic language.
Donald Trump: Fake News Alert! My fingers are not small! They are tremendous fingers! And yuge!
Kelly Anne Conway: Oh look! They’re talking about Donald on Fox News!
Donald Trump: Where? What channel?
Chris Christie: Would anyone care for a beverage? A hot towel?
Ivanka Trump: Can we wrap this up? It’s almost the Sabbath. I’ll say a special barucha that we find the right name to scare the bejeezus out of that little toad with the weird haircut and spindly fingers.
Donald Trump: Ivanka, my heart! Not you too! SAD!
Donald Jr: I’m thinking this may a good time to expand the brand, add a few more prime properties to our portfolio.
Eric Trump: Hey! How about Guam? I heard that prices are way down on properties there!
Chris Christie: Anyone care for a cocktail? I’ve got some pigs in a blanket warming in the oven…
Ivanka Trump: My people have suffered enough. We do not eat treif!
Melania Trump: How about “Shock and Awe?”
Steve Bannon: Let’s run some scary images of post-nuclear mushroom clouds, make some comparisons to the “Bay of Pigs” and…
Ivanka Trump: Uh treif? Sheesh!
Donald Trump: I got it! “Kim Jong, you’re fired!”
Chris Christie: Oh lookie here! I’ve got a nice hot fudge sundae for the president with two scoops!
Donald Trump: With a cherry?
Chris Christie: Of course! Now it’s time for your nap.
Donald Trump: Oooh Vanilla! My favorite!
Voices begin to overlap, all chiming in, as the voices begin to fade… “Fire and brimstone, fierce and fiery, burn baby burn, blazing dystopia dreams, Make America Nuke Again, Wag the Korean Dog, Snova sdelat' Ameriku…”