Most of us focus so much on a list of things we cannot have when we undertake to whiddle our middle. By depriving ourselves of much-desired foods and treats entirely, by telling ourselves that we 'cannot' have something, it becomes an obsessive thought. Devoting more time to thinking on those things that you cannot have is a sure-fire way to ensure your sudden demise at the end of the struggle to deprive yourself of something desired.
My articles focus frequently on the subject of breathing. Breathing into a desire rather than resisting it. Telling oneself that a little bit of something delicious is better than a binge later on and the prospect of total diet collapse and reversion. This is a far better approach to dealing with the calorie equation. By noting your cravings and habits, allowing for a bit of indulgence rather than running at breakneck speed from those wants you wish to quell, you will learn to accept and love the fleshy human source of your vitality and desire.
Your body knows what it needs. If your hunger and cravings are coming from an emotional or hormonal system that is out of balance, the worst thing you can do is to dive in the total opposite direction. You will find yourself in a tailspin. Your body does not need the shock. Your soul does not need the disproval. Your endocrine system does not deserve the upheaval.
Rather than dieting, try to listen to your cravings. Rather than shoving a brownie or a bag of chips down your throat, try to identify what it is that your body is needing, longing for. It is usually not the habituated quick fix we feed ourselves on the fly anyway. Fuel your body with something nourishing first. If the craving for a bit of sweet remains, then go ahead! Indulge your want of warm, yummy or 'bad' food once in a while.
Providing you are not being driven by your cravings and desires, but are fuelling and moving through your day with the joy of nourishing yourself with enough, small indulgences can actually be good for you. They may help you feel as though you can have a bit of cake and still eat too. You don't have to eat the whole cake in a frantic reactionary state with so little joy in the act that you drown yourself with regret later.
It's similar to the desires of your body -- the lack of communication surrounding healthy sexuality may often lead to obsessive or unhealthy behaviors. When we open our hearts to our own desire for food and sensual pleasure, we allow ourselves to explore the real root of what our body and soul are seeking.
We are allowed to become enough of everything that we need to do our lives the right way. We realize that there is no need to panic, regret, run away from then toward our desires and habits. If we sit calmly and allow them to wash over us, we will know that all is well and we will be OK.
Loving your body enough to sit with it and accept it, to give it a bit of leeway in terms of diet, to forego the notion that no fat, no carb or whatever else it is has any bearing on whether you will be fat or thin, you will begin to slim down because you will calm down. Handled in a calm manner, our hunger isn't an insatiable and scary creature. It is a beautiful manifestation of human desire, of want for provision, acceptance and love.
The act of calming down and allowing yourself to feel through and into your hunger will allow you to feel through your meal and become fully capable of eating with a sense of joy and abundance rather than depravity. From depravity comes desperation. From desperation comes irrational outburst. From irrational outburst and suppressed desire stem all nature of disease and imbalance, especially where food and sexuality are involved. These are root needs, root expressions of our essence that demand to be addressed and embraced. Our failure to do this may be connected to our current obesity epidemic as well as one of the least healthy models of sexual interaction on earth.
We have more food and porn than any other society, but rates of obesity related ailment and fatality, sexually transmitted infection and other epidemics of imbalance and denial are overwhelming. Why, when we have so much, do we imagine we have so little?
When we realize that there is enough, that we are enough, then we eat enough, not more. You are enough.