The Bachelorette Men Tell All Recap: All Apologies

We open with Chris Harrison saying that Kaitlyn is the most serious Bachelorette of any of them, because she sleeps with more guys than any of her predecessors.  Then there is a preview of Bachelor Pad, which is basically group sex.  Then comes Ian, the guy who said he's a hot worldly deep intellectual, and the guys lambast him.  He strangely gets down on his knees to apologize to the guys and to Kaitlyn for being an ass.  Everyone claps and JJ gives him a hug.  That was pretty smart, but the drama of it shows that he is still, of course, a huge narcissist.

Now we move on to Clint, who insists that he's straight, and the other guys say he acted like an arrogant jerk.  Now JJ says that he and Clint were intellectually curious about each other and it went beyond a surface level relationship.  The other guys look at him like he's a five headed hydra.

Kupah discusses how it's unfair that Nick was brought onto the show, and the other guys say that she deserves to figure out who she wants her husband to be.  Then some of them with backbones note that she did, prior to bringing Nick on, say that she saw her husband among the guys on the show, which then makes Nick's later appearance kind of surprising, but only if you expect Kaitlyn to be "honest" in the sense of "not lying all the time."

JJ descends into the "hot seat" and says he regrets throwing Clint under the bus when Clint left.  The other guys cannot contain their laughter at how serious JJ is when discussing his relationship with Clint, and JJ apologizes for various things.  Apologizing seems to be the culture of the Bachelorette right now.

Ben talks to Chris Harrison about his walls being up around Kaitlyn.  We knew that phrase was coming.  Jared talks about Kaitlyn not wanting him, but with the sort of equanimity that makes us know he got laid on Bachelor Pad.  Ben walks down and all the women scream for him.  He'll definitely be the next Bachelor.  He tells us that he, Kaitlyn and Shawn talked without cameras in their hotel room for six hours, but Kaitlyn was in bed with Shawn during that time.  This immediately preceded when Ben went to take a shower and Kaitlyn told Shawn that he was the one.

Kaitlyn comes out wearing something modest and classy.  Just kidding. Chris broaches the topic of Kaitlyn being called a slut in the media.  She says she even gets death threats, which is pretty nuts.  Chris reads harassing tweets and emails out loud, all of which call Kaitlyn a whore.  The men and the audience members all stand and applaud to support Kaitlyn.  It is pretty interesting how the producers are making cyberbullying the issue here.

 Ben asks why Kaitlyn told Shawn about the sex with Nick and didn't tell Ben.  She says some BS about compartmentalizing all the relationships, and then, of course, she apologizes.  Some of the guys tell her that bringing Nick on the show was unfair and disingenuous, and she wriggles deftly out of taking any responsibility for this semi-shady choice.

The guy who got drunk or mean or something, I forget, during episode 1, now gives Kaitlyn a rose, and say it with me, apologizes.  Kaitlyn teases JJ and Clint.  Ian gives Kaitlyn an apology note.  And then we move to the blooper reel, which is my cue to depart.  And next time, thank God, will be the finale.  Who will she pick?  Nick, who is pretentious and annoying, or Shawn, who compulsively calls Nick "the other guy," indicating an inability to face reality coupled with pathological jealousy?  Join us next time and see.  And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Thinks Shawn Will Flip The F Out When She Picks Nick.

This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Pre-order her book, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family.