The Ballad of Herman Cain: The Night I Drove Old Dixie Home

Herman Cain is my name and I served up some pizza plain

'Til so many calories came, I tore up my bio again

In the winter of 95, those who served the hungry, made me their guy

I lobbied Congress and I met some gals

It was a time I remember oh so well

The night I drove young Dixie home

I put my hand on her leg

It was the night I drove young Dixie home

And I began to sing

I went, 'La la la la la, La la la la, ladies love me.'

Back with my wife was intense, you see, when the lawyers came to me

They said, 'Herman, quick come see, here comes Sharon B.'

Now I don't mind being misunderstood, and I don't care if the money's no good

You take what you need and you leave the rest

But they should have never said that I had touched her breast

The night I drove young Dixie home

And she started crying

It was the night I drove young Dixie home

And all the people were denyin'

I went, "La la la la la la, La la la la, I don't recall"

Like Godfathers before me, I spun the pizza dough

And with the lawyers before me, the claims also rose

I was beatin' Mitt, which I crave; then Ginger White came and laid me in my grave

I swear by the flags behind my suit

You can't raise a Cain when the media's in pursuit

The night I drove young Dixie home

And she wasn't even that young

It was the night I drove old Dixie home

And the Republicans were considerin'

They went, "Nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah."

The night I drove young Dixie home

And the media was howlin'

It was the night I drove young Dixie home

And I just kept scowlin'

How bout if I make '9-9-9' '9-9-9-9'?