After 3 days of bring Michael home to spend the day with us, I went in on that 4th morning to pick him up for a meeting at our County Board of Supervisors, regarding waiving the fee for the building permit for the addition to our house. I had to go in a different door to the nursing home, and when I did, I saw the two aides walking down the hallway... I was shocked, because I was sure they would have been fired for what they did to Michael (and who knows how many of the other residents!!!). I went to Michael's room, where I found him still in bed, not ready to leave. I told his aide I needed him ready ASAP, and went to find the Director of the nursing home. When I did, I asked him why those two aides were back on the job? He told me they'd 'investigated' the matter and decided that nothing had happened... I asked him, "What, did you ask them 'did you do it?' and they said 'no'???? And he said, "Yes, basically, that's what happened...
I got Michael into the van, and we went to the Supervisor's meeting. Afterwards we met Lindsay at Starbuck's, and I asked her if she was OK with Michael coming home before the addition was built on - that we'd get a sofabed so she could sleep comfortably in the living room... and she said she was absolutely fine with that!!! So I got a bunch of boxes, drove through at McDonald's to get Michael lunch, sat him outside the nursing home with instructions to not speak to ANYONE, and went in to pack up his things... I was told, "You can't do that!!" "You need doctor's approval" " He can't just leave"... I told them to call a cop, I was taking my son home. Not one officer ever came...
Settling in at home wasn't a simple task -
We ordered a sofabed for the living room, and tried to figure out how to get Michael in and out of his wheelchair and into bed. I knew the routine of leaning against his leg to ease him into the bed, but it wasn't an adjustable bed, it was higher than the hospital bed, and it was frustrating and difficult... A couple of days after he came home, the sofabed was going to be delivered, and I wanted to get him up and in his wheelchair before they came. Lindsay was at home (thankfully!!!) with a friend, and as I eased Michael out of the bed, he leaned a bit too forward, and fell on me - I kind of maneuvered myself under him so he wouldn't get hurt when he hit the floor. Lindsay heard the commotion, and they came in to help get Michael and me off the floor. He was OK, but I hurt my back pretty badly (just recently found out that I had fractured a vertebrae...) and spent some time just sitting in the reclining chair, munching on pain killers/muscle relaxants... WELCOME HOME!!!
The sofabed was delivered, a few days later Michael got a hospital bed delivered, and a Hoyer lift - which made life just a bit easier. We all settled into a routine of sorts - A physical therapist came to work with Michael a couple of times a week, and the change in his mood and outlook GREATLY improved!! His needs were evaluated by IHSS, an entity that pays for the care of those needing care in their home... That was another process that was very long and very arduous... and has been adjusted many, many times over the years. But he's home, being cared for, and thriving...
At one point, before Michael came home from the nursing home, Lindsay and I visited a very well known attorney in Sacramento. It had been mentioned to us that we needed to think about Michael's long-term medical needs, and that they might change and intensify over the years to come - who would pay for that? There had been no criminal charges brought against the driver of the car, which I have to say, I still don't fully understand. A life was lost, and one was forever altered - I didn't understand why there was no responsibility assessed for that. So we went to visit an attorney, to see about a civil case, where some responsibility would be meted out for Michael's medical care. Lindsay and I sat in his office for quite awhile, running down everything about the accident, and Michael's situation. At the end he told us, that he would gladly take our case, and had no qualms letting us know that the judge would order millions to be paid to Michael... but that after the case was over (which could take 4 or 5 years, with numerous depositions, etc, etc) Adam would file for bankruptcy and it would all be for nothing... On the ride home, Lindsay and I discussed the options, and we decided that we didn't want to put Michael through the stress and tension of a legal battle, that it would be in everyone's best interest to NOT prosecute Adam, and instead try to nurture their friendship and have him continue to be a part of Michael's life. Partially because they'd been such good friends for so long, and partially so Adam would know the struggles Michael had to deal with along the way... I think we made the right decision...