When God is your “friend with benefits,” the Big Spiritual “O” is GUARANTEED! It comes in a flash of light, sometimes out of nowhere, and doesn’t involve another person. It’s a luminous gift from the Universe. I like to think of this as a meeting of the lights. Imagine the Source of all Light is reaching down from the Great Void in a perfect channel heading right for you. The light within you touches the Light of the Creation, and when the two meet there’s an explosion of JOY. Visualize it in your mind’s eye: two light beams simultaneously reaching toward one another until they are touching, and then at the precise moment the Light recognizes itself it amplifies into a magnificent starburst brighter than the most spectacular fireworks you’ve ever seen, and it’s happening inside of you.
When we develop the kind of intimacy with the Universe which resembles that of a best and adored friend, we open ourselves to experience true unadulterated joy regardless of the conditions or circumstances we may find ourselves in. Within this relationship, we are perfectly positioned to transcend our pain, whether it’s emotional, psychological, or physical, and without needing to ask for it.
Open communication with God invites us to a two-way conversation where we are consciously sending and receiving information. This information can be clear guidance or instruction, a knowing or feeling of recognition. We seek acknowledgement and we yearn to be seen and heard on a conscious and subconscious level in our waking lives. I believe this is true for all Light. Our behavior is often hijacked by these impulses, causing us to act out in ways that will get us the attention we desperately crave. Being in a direct relationship with the Most High decreases the frequency of self-created melodramas that often end with us experiencing more pain. We are recognized in this exchange as our authentic selves, and our focus is redirected to the blessed moments and gifts that are ever-present when we awaken to this level of consciousness.
The Big Spiritual “O” I hear about most often is during high prayer, when you find yourself steeped in the Spirit, perhaps when the praises go up or the energy of the choir brings you to your knees. There you are purposely conducting yourself in a way that will bring you into the presence of God and open yourself to receive a word, a feeling, or the knowing that you are loved. The Big Spiritual “O” makes sense in these settings; however, I want to share a couple of places you may not look for her. The gifts of the Spirit don’t always come neatly packaged, but if you are aware, you may be more receptive to this gift.
The First Time
I finally had my chance to drive my dream car, and it was hot. I would not have believed anyone if they told me that getting what I wanted wasn’t the answer to my prayers. The day I walked into the Benz dealership, I felt like a queen. I felt full and proud of myself for being able to throw down my money and drive off in my shiny new car. I called her “Black and Tan,” and boy was she fast! When my hands were on the steering wheel, we moved in sync together, and it felt like she and I were one. I’d swear there was no way I’d have a higher feeling than manifesting that ride in that moment, and I thought it would last forever. I’m not sure what I had in mind about how I would feel driving my brand new Mercedes, but despite 5 years of pining over it, the thrill wore off quickly and I was soon left feeling empty again.
Then one day I was driving down the Cross Bronx Expressway, and it happened: The Big Spiritual “O” hit me. Pure Ecstatic Joy rushed through every cell of my body and sent chills up and down my spine. My heart swelled and exploded. My eyes flooded, and tears of joy came streaming down my cheeks. The world around me flashed in golden light. I felt delirious. I gasped, alone in my car. It was so intense I wondered if I should pull over. Where was this coming from on an average afternoon drive? My life was kind of in the shitter; I was separated from the only man I’d ever truly loved until that point, and I was living as far as possible from the life I was leaving behind.
Alone in my Mercedes right there on the highway, the Universe gave me a gift that made me so high, tears filled my eyes and left my panties a little wet.
I remember it so clearly. God and I, driving and talking, ‘cause that’s what we do. Suddenly, I was hit with a flash of insight about everything and nothing all at once. It was never about the car—not even the wanting it. Something else was most important all along.
Me. Suddenly, I mattered.
I had a voice, and life was finally starting to let me know I was being heard. The resounding thought in my head was of absolute detachment. I could have given that car back right then and still be filled with joy. How could something I coveted for so long have so little meaning in an instant? Holy shit, I had just gotten it! Total and complete integration of a spiritual principle on a cellular, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. My consciousness had been elevated; I became DETACHED!
I was lured onto the spiritual path like many in search of ways to manifest more of what I wanted. We live in a 3D world, and it’s no surprise that oftentimes people have unfulfilled dreams and desires which include physical things. For me it was no different. I had little understanding of how temporarily fulfilling the attainment of material possessions would be once I fully understood that I could create them on command. I quickly learned about the “gems of the Spirit” and how truly priceless they are once integrated into my life: understand the principles and you will have a ticket to Freedom, no longer tethered to the material objects you desire. These gifts will sustain, enlighten, and grow you in the face of the ever-changing landscape of your life when you enjoy a personal relationship with God.
Transition and Release
The Big Spiritual “O” will come over you even in times of deepest sorrow. It was seven days before my 30th birthday, and I was called to my mother’s house. The night before my mother made her transition, I was holding vigil at her bedside. She had been dying for the past 4 days. The light ran into darkness, only to repeat itself again and again. Quiet, still moments seem to drag on forever and ever. Watching someone die is never easy. Those of us who had gathered took turns at her side. There were far and few moments when I had her alone. My prayers for her peace, her soul, and her life were all that I clung to while waiting for the heartbreak and despair.
As she lay unconscious and breathing, I laid by her side. I whispered in her ear one last time. “Don’t go without me, you promise. I need to be here.” There was no response. The next shift came in, and I went downstairs. Two stories down, my husband sat patiently in the basement. I curled up next to him on the couch. Unable to keep my eyes open, I laid my head on his lap and fell asleep for the first time in days.
When you get ready to die, the spirit has certain privileges. We don’t talk much about these, but they are real. Before the spirit departs this realm, it has the opportunity to move freely about the cabin, visit with those they choose in ways that feel miraculous.
It was the eve of the first day of spring, and my mother’s name was Rose. She came to me in a dream vividly, clearly. “Danny,” she called, “I’m not going to be over here,” and then she switched sides in my mind moving from the left hemisphere in my brain to the right. Her image of black and white shifted to the most vibrant hues of red and orange colors. It startled me. I awakened. Nearly comatose myself from lack of sleep and the stress of the situation, I shared my dream with my husband. “Aren’t you going to go upstairs now?” he asked. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to. He knew my senses had become heightened on my spiritual path, and I was steeped in my studies. For sure, he knew it was a sign. Thank God, because I wasn’t fully present.
I took the walk to her room one last time and found my step-dad and aunt there. They looked at me so grimly, and I could see her chest weak and fading. I joined them at her side; two breaths and she was gone.
It was in that very moment, where I expected to feel the depth of my pain and sorrow, that the Big Spiritual “O” found me. The Big Spiritual “O” whooshed through my body, and my cells rejoiced. I felt extremely out of place. Why was this happening? The profound joy I was experiencing was no accident. SHE REMEMBERED ME! I would have shouted from the rooftop right there and then. Praise God, my mother came to get me; she would not leave me disappointed, and she did not die without me. The reverberation of that answered prayer carried me clear through the week while her services and burial took place.
Never underestimate the Big Spiritual “O”—it will happen when you least expect it and you will know it’s a privilege that comes directly from creating an intimate and personal relationship with God.
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