There are a few "c" words floating around our world these days. Words that begin with the letter "c" and are all too heinous to actually be spoken of. Out loud. In polite company.
First off, there's that really derogatory name for a female (and female body part). You probably have a very good idea of which one I'm talking about. The other "c" word that springs to mind: cancer. Not an uplifting word either, and one that some people are afraid to utter.
But there's a third "c" word that gets lots of use during a divorce. Another word that I want to add to this list of words we all despise hearing. What is the word I'm referring to?
(drumroll please)
CRAZY.
Bat sh#t crazy. Cray. Cray. Crazy Like A Fox.
However you want to put it. This "c" word gets way too much use during a divorce. Crazy is the divorced persons favorite go-to word. Each spouse calls the other one crazy. Want to stay in your house? Crazy. Want joint custody? Crazy. Want to divvy up property? You've probably been called crazy too. It's the fall back word for anyone who's splitting up. That word is used to describe the process and most definitely the person they used to be married to.
I've been called crazy by my spouse. You probably have to.
The crazy word gets hauled out every time separation papers get drawn up and someone decides to get a divorce. Whether you were the one seeking the divorce, if your ex demanded it, or even if it was a decision you made together, I'll bet someone got called crazy.
And by the way, if you or your ex suffers from a true mental illness; bipolar, OCD, schizophrenia, etc. this post is NOT about you.
This post is for all of us who are lazy. Too lazy to think of a more appropriate or specific adjective to describe the actions of our spouse. This post is for all of us too lazy to stop for a moment and ask ourselves why this person is behaving that way in the first place.
Isn't it time that we retired the word crazy and found some other more specific, and maybe even, more constructive words to call our former spouse?
Here are a few alternate words to use instead:
Argumentative
Aggressive
Combative
Demanding
Difficult
Irrational
Selfish
Maybe if we could find a more constructive word to describe the actions of our spouse, we might be able to find a more constructive way to communicate and deal with this person too. Generic, mean spirited labels probably won't help your spouse be less angry towards you, and probably won't help the divorce process either. (While you're at it, here are some other ways to make sure you have a crappy, difficult divorce.)
Maybe if we use less of the Crazy word, we might be able to use another "c" word. Words like coexist, compromise, maybe even compassion.
You don't have to suddenly talk about your ex like they just descended from heaven, but constantly labeling any behavior you don't agree with as crazy is probably not helping anyone. Not you, your spouse, your kids.
Let's cut the crazy talk and find more creative words to use when speaking about former spouses. Stop using inflammatory word to describe them. Stop calling anyone, including our ex, who doesn't agree with us crazy.
I think it's time to give the "c" word, crazy, a nice, long rest.