On Thursday's "The Colbert Report," a dangerous new threat to the American workforce is highlighted in the segment "People Destroying America."
Tammy Dunakin won't employ American citizens for her landscaping business, and her undocumented workers are taking jobs extremely vital to hardworking Americans in this time of economic struggle. But she's not employing illegal immigrants; they're just goats.
"I will not be satisfied until goats are doing all the landscaping jobs in this country," Dunakin tells "The Colbert Report." The merits of her 130 hungry mammals aren't unfounded; according to Dunakin and one of her clients, the goats are able to work 24 hours a day, can easily get to places that machinery and people can't safely reach and are good for the environment. Best of all, the goats cost $2,500 to work an acre that would cost a human crew $10,000.
Naturally, her competitors aren't happy. "This woman's completely out of her f--king mind," one landscaper says, while another knocks the downside of Dunakin's animals: "I don't think we would ever poop on a job site."
But even the Department of Defense has hired Dunakin's furry crew to work at a nuclear sub base. Fortunately, former U.S. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich quells any fears of a goat uprising by assuring "that there is absolutely no reason to be afraid of goats."