Confidence seems so illusive, doesn’t it? You can’t hold it, smell or touch it. It’s just a feeling, a state of mind and yet, it’s the one thing we all want more of!
There are hundreds of nifty tips and tricks you can use to get that confidence “hit”, from power poses to meditative chants to imagining the people around you are naked ( a public speaking hack!). But for long-term, strong, solid confidence, none of these are going to get you through the avalanche of storms that face us at work, in our lives and relationships!
I want to share with you the strategy that you can use to experience the holy grail of true confidence, the one that gets you through thick and thin and goes much further than a social media snapshot or moment in time.
1. Identify and live your core values.
Our values are things that are so important to us that we actually can’t imagine our lives without them. For example, if you value “potential” yet you find yourself stuck in a job where you do mundane work all day that doesn’t challenge, excite or move you forward, you’re not going to be a happy bunny! You might say that surely no-one would be happy like that but actually, there are plenty of people who LOVE this kind of life (I know, I worked with some of them!).
It all depends on what you value.
Values are the GPS which guide our decisions and the extent to which we show up for our values can determine the level of satisfaction & happiness in our lives, careers and relationships.
One of my core values is communication, it’s the reason I write articles & am a proud member of Phoenix Tara Toastmasters & Toastmasters International.
Later this month, I’m hosting my first “Confidence Strategy” workshop at Holistic Nurture - an amazing centre which recognises that in order for us to be happy, we need to take a holistic approach, nurturing ourselves in a balanced way - that means physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Planning a workshop is both challenging and exciting. Being excited is easy, but when I feel challenged, I remind myself how important it is for me to show up & take action for the things I believe in.
Communication is the value I use to help others; by sharing the message that we have a choice.
Confidence is a skill that can be learned, yet so many people choose to settle for a life of self-doubt, inaction and fear of failure. You can choose to learn the skill of confidence, or stay where you are - the important thing you need to know is that it’s in your power to change.
There is a quote from Lao Tzu “Understanding others is wisdom, understanding yourself is enlightenment”
When you show up for your core values, you show up for confidence because knowing who you really are is a huge part of what it takes to have a solid foundation that goes beyond moments in time or snapshots on social media.
2. Discover the beliefs that define and empower you.
If you believe and tell yourself “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve to be happy”, your confidence will be as shaky as frog after 2 bottles of vodka.
If, on the other hand, you challenge those beliefs and change that thought to “ I am good enough” and you remember all the times in your life when you were good enough and how much your friends & family love you.. then you’ve achieved the second tier of your confidence strategy.
3. Set Your Boundaries
The third & final part of the confidence strategy are the boundaries you have in place to protect you, your time and energy.
Are you putting up with people being negative towards you? The boss who never acknowledges your work, the friend who makes little of your achievements or the colleague who takes credit for your work.
What boundaries do you need to put in place in order to protect your confidence - do you need to communicate that certain behaviours aren’t acceptable to you or do you need to distance yourself from people who aren’t willing to change?
Perhaps the most important boundary is the one you need to set with yourself? The one that stops you from settling for a life of 😐 instead of a life of 😃
Today, I challenge you to craft your personal confidence strategy;
1. How are you showing up for your core values - are you giving them the attention they need to support your confidence?
2. What are you believing about yourself and are those beliefs empowering your confidence?
3. What are the boundaries you need to put in place to protect your confidence so that it can be nurtured and grow?
When you know who you are, what you stand for and believe that you deserve to be happy, you have everything you need to create true confidence.
It’s a solid, strong confidence that will carry you far beyond those moments in time and social media snapshots. The truth is…this holy grail of confidence? The one that everyone’s talking about and searching for? It’s inside of you already, waiting to get out, so that you can live the life you deserve ..and not a shaky frog in sight!
If you would like to book a 30 minute complimentary discovery call to talk through how I can help you to develop and implement the confidence strategy in your life, career or relationships, please email sharonwals@gmail.com or call 00 353 87 6837767