After a series of ridiculous sound bites, Donald Trump gave me no choice but to compile his quotes into a rap (along with a few creative contributions for fusing.) It actually wasn't all that difficult to put together; his language naturally lends itself to the arrogant tone of hip-hop.
None of the below viewpoints reflect those of the author:
"I have a Gucci store worth more than Romney."
I chew on rhymes and spit 'em out like Kanye.
"I'm a bit of a P. T. Barnum; I make stars of everyone."
I like breaking glass ceilings so I built a solarium.
"Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is the highest."
And I don't need a rug cause my hair is the flyest.
"Some people call me lucky, but I know better."
I'll squeeze a businessman until he is a debtor.
"I love beautiful women, and beautiful women love me."
The only time I went gay was when, "I screwed [Gaddafi]."
"The women on 'The Apprentice' flirted... That's to be expected."
Imagine the hot ass I'll land once I'm elected.
Once in the White House, I'll keep Mexicans where they should be.
"I will build a great wall--nobody builds walls better than me."
Take a look around; "I am the least racist person there is."
I simply think black people shouldn't have kids.
Don't donate to my campaign. I'm sure you won't disagree.
"The money you're talking about is a lot, but it's peanuts for me."
Originally published on Points in Case. Follow Alena on her blog.