Everyone is looking for a pill, plan, secret sauce, or the ONE thing someone did that made the biggest impact to lose weight. We keep searching. When we think we have found it, it feels exciting because of the hope and possibility of happiness that we long for. Inevitably it fails not because you failed. It failed because it never existed. It was a mirage. It looked pretty, shiny, and hopeful but in the end left us empty, lost, and disappointed. In fact, we are worse off then when we started because we now have another experience of failing and disappointment. The saddest part is what I see next: apathy. People give up searching and start to tell themselves they should settle and accept their struggle as part of who they are. We can apply this to so many problems, but specifically let’s talk about dieting, weight loss, and health.
What do I do?
I show my clients how to restore faith and confidence in themselves and their bodies. I show them how to use their obsessive thoughts around food and weight as a tool to teach themselves how to step out of the cycle.
I tell them to eat whatever the “fork” they want.
But Karen, that is irresponsible. You are a dietitian, you should know that health matters. You can’t tell people that. They will just eat hamburgers, French fries, and ice cream all day.
Well, last week my client binged on ice cream and I told her if I were her I would go buy 5 gallons of it that day when she told me she can’t be trusted around it.
Gasp. It is a trigger food. You can’t do that.
Oh, but I can and I do. The best part is, the next time she went to the store down the ice cream isle she had no desire to eat it.
For way too many years people look to other people to help them control their willpower, to tell them what will work for the their body instead of listening to their body. Statistically over 95% of diets fail with the weight being regained in one to give years. Yet we still search for the answer through the action of dieting, instead of addressing the mindset and belief system of dieting. It seems like the quicker way to get results, but think about how many years dieting has taken from your life. After working with thousands of women, they all report their thoughts being consumed over 90% of the time with food and weight. The answer is not more diets and more rules to follow.
Who knows your body the best? You or someone else? You can learn the skills to tune in, trust yourself, and leave the emotion and judgment out of it, but you do not need more eat this and not that guidelines. You don’t have an education problem. No one is smarter then your body when it comes to what you need.
Would you rather?
Accept you are a food addict. Never buy foods you can’t be trusted around. Allow family functions to send you into a panic mode because of all the food around. Say no to social invitations until you drop the weight and can show up a smaller size. Constantly think about pizza while you eat your acai bowl.
OR
Live a life where food has no power except to bring you joy and nourishment. Feel excited about working towards something that brings you purpose and fulfillment. Wear clothes that make you feel empowered now. Go have fun and enjoy the day without obsessing over what you will eat. Show up as you everyday. Feel how you want to feel without looking to scale to judge your day.
Listening to your body works. You need me to make it feel sexy? You need me to package it in a diet?
Fine, here it is: The Eat Whatever The Fork You Want Diet.
I feel sure at the end of the day when you get the permission to do what you want, the sweets and avoidance of your health is going to get old. You will choose what makes you feel good and start to experience life without calories, rules, and scales. You will feel empowered. You will feel free. You will no longer feel shame or be swayed by another mirage of quick fixes. You won’t lose yourself or let yourself go, in fact, you will find yourself. She is there, waiting for you to discover.