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The End of The Gender Reveal Party

Give me an excuse to party and I am there. That being said, please don't invite me to your "Gender Reveal Party." Gender Reveal Parties are NOT A THING.
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Give me an excuse to party and I am there.

That being said, please don't invite me to your "Gender Reveal Party." Gender Reveal Parties are NOT A THING. There are certain things that I can get excited about... the fact that you are getting married, the fact that you are HAVING a kid, or perhaps you bought a new house. But I honestly don't care whether your unborn child is a boy or a girl and nobody else does either. Please just let me know when the child is born so that I can shower them with either pink or blue stuff. I'm old school like that.

I am generally excited for you that you found out the gender of your baby, but I really don't think having a grand party where you come up with some ridiculously stupid way of announcing it is something that I want to partake in. I know that in the day and age of social media where we share with each other every minor detail of our lives, that you would think that people care about things like the gender of your baby, but in reality we don't... at least not before the child is born.

I like to share moments with my kids on Facebook or Twitter, but I realize that most people don't care that little Bobby made his first poop on the potty or that Susie had her first solid foods. We like to think that everyone cares, but the truth is, they don't. If you really want to share whether you are having a boy or a girl, just pick up the phone and call the people that you would think care the most; namely your parents and possibly a few of your closest friends. Tell it to the right person and before you know it, the entire world will know.

I beg of you though, don't invite us all over to your house and have some scheme where you slice into a cake and the inside is pink or blue. Don't launch a pink or blue balloon into the sky (without the FAA's approval of course). And for the love of god please don't show us some YouTube video that you created in hopes that it will go viral. I MIGHT smile, but more than likely I will roll my eyes and head for the exit as soon as possible.

It's nice to be the center of attention every now and then. There will be plenty of time for that once your baby is born. Now that I think about though, you won't actually be the center of attention and the little guy or girl will be. Perhaps this is what it's all about, Gender Reveal parties are just an excuse for people to look at you one last time. Before the dual baby shower of course... which is a whole different bunch of nonsense.

By the way. Whatever happened to the ultimate gender reveal surprise in finding out when the baby is born?

A version of this post originally appeared on Dads Roundtable.