I have been molested.
I have been beaten.
I have been raped.
I have been suicidal.
I have have been bulimic.
I have been anorexic.
I have been homeless.
I have been abandoned.
I have been neglected.
& I have been lost.
But I’ll tell you what else I have been.
I have been strong.
I have been inspired.
I have been empowered.
I have been uplifted.
I have been blessed.
I have been gifted.
I have been praised.
I have been reborn.
I have been loved.
I have been saved.
& I have been found.
And I am grateful for all of it.
When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to be a perfect Christian girl. The good girls got all of the best attention.
I just wanted to be a good girl.
I never felt a connection to god.
No matter how hard I tried.
It wasn't until I stopped going to church, and was off on my own at college, and had to really start listening to myself, that I felt like I was talking to an old friend.
It’s hard to know what you want in life when you have so many other voices getting in your head.
That’s why it’s so important to be alone. And to live alone. So when someone comes along who doesn’t treat you with respect, or appreciate you, you love yourself enough to have the strength to leave.
Every single ounce of it, every single good or bad life-changing moment, has prepared, and led, me to this moment.
This next moment of my life.
The moment where I barge through the doors of fear.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of change.
& fear of inadequacy.
I'm letting them go.
I'm releasing them.
I have to. I have a daughter now. I have a precious, tiny, impressional being who is watching my every move, and will learn to love herself the way I love myself.
She's the biggest responsibility of my life. I owe it to her to be the best version of myself I can be, so she too can one day live her own authentic truth.
If I don't show her, it will be a much harder lesson to learn.
So enough is enough.
I’m taking control back.
Control of my life.
Control of my dreams.
& control of my destiny.
No person, no thing, will get in the way of me fulfilling my soul’s purpose.
I am to help heal the world with laughter.
I am a dreamer.
I am a believer.
I am a renegade.
I am a natural disaster blowing through your life with an abundance of love that you can not ignore.
I won’t be ignored.
I will love you.
I will keep loving you when it hurts.
I will keep loving you when it’s hard.
I will keep loving you until you understand your own worth & see the flicker inside you that is just waiting to be set on fire.
I am your friend.
I am your enemy.
I am the reflection of yourself that you hate the most, but know deep down there’s goodness somewhere inside.
I'm a woman on a mission and I won't give up.
I won’t give up on me,
& I won’t give up on you.
I. WON’T. GIVE. UP.
This article was previously published on MommyImHungry.com. Connect with Bo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest for more realities of becoming a momma.