The Existential Longing of Wishbone the Dog

Hey, I'm Wishbone, the eponymous Jack Russell Terrier from the show, "Wishbone." I'm famous, but, just like you, I poop in the grass. I bark at strange objects. Just like you if you're a dog, I mean, because that's what I am.

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I dress in historically accurate clothes and enact stories for a black box with a piece of glass in it, which is called a camera, but something feels off.

Is that what everybody else does?

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I guess, I feel like, well I don't know, maybe it's silly. Well see, when I'm done and my clothes come off, I get a treat. Beef or liver typically. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE treats. But sometimes, I feel like, if I didn't get a treat, well I wouldn't do anything. Well, that's not entirely true. I'd do things, but those things probably wouldn't be wearing clothes and acting.

Is that weird to say? I think without liver treats from my trainer, I think I'd sleep a whole lot more. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE to hump my stuffed toy bird, but that has been discouraged, especially during scenes when I played Romeo and Robinhood, who are characters who love human ladies and do other things as well, but don't hump stuffed birds. I learn so much when I'm earning treats.

When I play with other dogs, and it's difficult to get a frame of reference, but it's not apparent to me, from smelling them, etc., that they dress up in any sorts of costumes or act out any kinds of fairytales or classic books.

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Am I very different? I go running everyday with my trainer, so when it's time to play with other dogs, I'm kind of tired. They don't seem tired, though. What were they doing during the time I was dressing up as the Hunchdog of Notre Dame? It smells like they were doing absolutely nothing. Is that possible?!

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What do cameras do? Everyone pets me A LOT once the cameras are put away. Cameras going away makes people so happy! I'm very happy now when cameras go away. When cameras come out, I smell treats. I'm happy then too. I guess everything is great! Yeah. Yes. That's true.
But... what it's like for other dogs?