Food & Drink

The Flask Tie Will Hold Your Whiskey, May Not Have Room For Your Dignity (PHOTOS)

For, you know, water, or whatever.

Well guys, this day has finally come. Someone invented a Flask Tie. What do we mean by that? It's a tie that is also a flask. We can't make this stuff up.

Brought to you by the inventors of the PillowTie (we cannot stop laughing when we look at the how-to diagram), The FlaskTie comes equipped with a TieBladder™ -- which is a really unpleasant way of describing a tie-shaped, six ounce canteen that slips inside the tie itself. For, you know, water or whatever. If you're looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift for your man, we think you should just forget you ever saw this (although the prospects of bringing your own Valentine's Day cocktail to dinner are appealing).

flask tie

flask tie

flask tie

There are 10 different FlaskTies available, each for $27.95 in every bro-tastic print you can imagine. As the inventor's say on their website: "Nobody needs to know why you started wearing a necktie."

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Brass Knuckles Meat Tenderizer
Amazon
Yeah, definitely. Nothing says "I have street cred" like tenderizing your meat with a pair of brass knuckles.
GrillComb
Fusionbrands
The GrillComb's claim to usefulness: "Keeps food from spinning while cooking." Ah yes, finally an answer to the "food spinning epidemic." It's probably pretty exciting the first time you pick one of these up and scatter your grill with individual pieces of food.
Creme Brulee On The Grill
The Tool Wizard
The directions for this product are hilarious. Cook the creme brulee "according to a recipe," then heat this metal plate on your grill and caramelize each custard individually. Just buy a torch, you guys! They got invented for a reason!
Grill Sergeant Apron
Perpetual Kid
This is a neat trick: giving the gift of a tool that makes the person you are giving the gift to look like a tool. Also, who doesn't want a six pack of beer strapped to their chest while they lean over a grill?
Ham Dogger
Kitchen Art
The Ham Dogger turns hamburger meat into a hot dog. How this product improves upon rolling your ground beef into logs by hand, we have not deciphered. Do we need to even make fun of this? Just don't do this. Please.
Personalized Leather Apron & Gloves Set
GrillingGifts.com
What are you, welding? Don't worry, dad, you're the only one in the house who wants to wear leather gloves for grilling -- you don't have to put your name on them. Go flip my cheeseburger, weirdo.
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Char-Broil wants to make sure you can grill even in places where you "aren't allowed to grill." So they invented a glorified hot plate with ridges that's shaped like a grill. The guys in the picture look like they're pretty psyched about it, though.
Meatball Grill Basket
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Motorized Grill Brush With Steam Cleaning Power
Brookstone
Okay. What exactly are you grilling? Paint? Do you really need the brushes to rotate for you? Did you know that this uses eight AA batteries? Just oil up an onion like the rest of us and move on!
Reel Roaster
Perpetual Kid
The only way we'll be able to move on with our day and find peace, is if you assure us that no one has ever purchased one of these. Here's how the Reel Roaster works: stab your hot dog/marshmallow/whatever onto the end of the antenna and crank the reel to rotate the skewer. Or just, you know, use a coat hanger like the rest of us have for eternity.
Bear Claw Meat Shredder/Lifter
Sur La Table
But meat shredders already exist! They're called hands! And forks! If you are barbecuing anything tough enough that it requires giant metal hands to shred -- you're doing it wrong.
UFO BBQ Cover
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Grill Clips
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These Sur La Table Grill Clips are a great way crush delicate pieces of food before you serve them to your guests. Also, we bet these are really fun to try to open, hot off the grill.
Quirky Sliders Skewers
Target
Are you really taxed by sliding food off your skewer with a fork? Here -- put a piece of plastic on the grill next to your food and see if it melts before you get your zucchini.
Barbecue Tool And Accessory Organizer Stand
4TheGrill
Having trouble keeping your BBQ tools organized? Strap an unstable, top-heavy rack onto a BBQ filled with hot charcoal. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.