The Gingrich Open Marriage Initiative (GO-MI) Explained

Since Newt Gingrich has a great deal of experience with the Divorce Industry, he has found really some neat ways to get the economy moving again.

The Gingrich Open Marriage Initiative (GO-MI) is a proposed (pun intended) series of laws designed to stimulate the economy with write-offs at the same time as writing off your current spouse.

Things like:

  • IRS will allow for a 75% deduction on any dates after a first date with the 'Other' Woman or the 'New' Guy.

  • Hotel Trysts are covered as long as the Hotel Chain advertizes during a Super Bowl.
  • A private investigator tailing a suspected spouse is allowed up to 15 hours per week for a 40% reimbursement. Anything over 20 Hours needs to be turned over to local law enforcement authorities.
  • Legal Fees for divorce attorneys, and serving papers are now certainly within IRS's new guidelines.
  • A Bonus 15% allowance will be in play if the spouse to be bounced has a debilitating illness or cannot get up when the papers are served.
  • Mental health services for children of GO-MI will not be deductible. That would constitute a form of Obamacare and will be stricken upon President Gingrich's arrival in the White House. The same conditions will hold for Drug and Alcohol Treatment Programs for the spouse getting bounced.

    GO-MI will allow even more lax laws for those who wish to completely abandon their original families. However, relocation expenses for the outgoing spouse will be fully reimbursable as long as the said spouse is dropping at least 2 socioeconomic levels.

    As these plans are in a state of flux, feel free to add any useful suggestions here for the GO-MI Stimulus Plan.

    We will try to get your ideas to the candidate!