Just for fun, I pretended to be my girlfriend for a month. I am now broke.
My girlfriend, Jessica, is not who you'd classify as a high-maintenance person or a "pinkies-out" girl. (I mean, she's obviously a princess and not a slob at all and I love you, girlfriend.) But she's no cupcake.
She's an editor at BuzzFeed who works really hard and rarely treats herself, so when my editor asked if I would like to pretend to be Jessica and buy all of the bathroom things that she buys in a month, I, in my ignorant man head, thought it would be close to my own experience, except maybe more tampons.
After all, we are now in an enlightened post-lumbersexual era. It is a time when Old Spice has Smellcomed us to Manhood, and it's "OK for guys to take care of themselves," as the public radio show "Marketplace" puts it. With my own eye cream, face lotion and beard balm regimens, I thought, "I probably buy the same stuff that Jess does anyway." (We share the beard balm.)
By our unscientific experiment, it's nearly 50 percent more expensive to be Jessica, a normal woman in the United States, than it is to be James, a pretentious perma-groomed city twerp.
Still, even if you take the makeup, lotions and loofahs out of it, my girlfriend will always have to spend more on herself, just on necessities -- housewarming gifts for her monthly visitor, for example -- because nothing visits me every month.
Advertisement
Even though I'm totally broke until Friday, a few positive accidents came out of this: Jessica now has a replenished medicine cabinet, and I have a grocery list of her favorite things that I can use to cheat and surprise her with pre-approved gifts that I know she'll use.
Here's how we stacked up:
Total Cost Of Things Girlfriend Buys: $326.68
Amazon
Olay Regenerist Daily Thermal Mini Peel ($37.94, Amazon)
Clinique
Even Better Eyes™ Dark Circle Corrector ($41, Clinique)
Lab Series Max LS AS Light Moisture Lotion ($47.49, Amazon)
Would you like to improve your relationship with money? Sign up to join our 30-Day, More Money, Less Stress Challenge to demystify one of the most important and empowering areas of your life. We’ll deliver tips, challenges and advice to your inbox every day during April. Sign up here!
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
