The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: 5 Steps to Embrace Your Process

Life is meant to be a fun adventure. It isn't a race to the grave. Embrace and enjoy all that comes to you be it the good, the bad and the ugly. Use it to grow and become exactly who you want to be.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Can you relate?

Things are going exactly according to plan. You are clearly in control of your life. But then -- all of a sudden -- life takes charge and is steering the wheel of your destiny.

When that happens, tasks take forever to complete. No one calls back. You think things will go a specific way just to get entirely rerouted.

When life seems to be in charge, it can trigger uncertainty or the internal skeptic and make us feel unsure or cloudy.

We wonder things like:
•Is this really the right direction?
•Am I doing what's in my best good?
•Is this moving my career/life forward?

The good news is, if it's happening then it's exactly what you need.

Maybe you think I'm crazy to say this but in my experience both from my own life and from my clients, this is what I see over and over again.

Because, the dirty little secret that no one openly talks about is; If a behavior, a job, a relationship or mindset is persisting, it's because we aren't ready for a new one.

When we are ready, it will magically shift!

Here's an example.

The economic downturn and housing collapse started early in Florida and by 2007, the school my husband and I had founded was floundering. We'd lost a lot of students who simply couldn't afford to pay private school tuition. We hunkered down, tightened our budgetary belt and successfully weathered the storm.

Coming out of that, I realized that I was ready to do another kind of work. It wasn't the recession per se, it was that I'd worked in education the majority of my adult life and was ready for something else. But what?

In 2008 I figured it out.

I wanted to continue working with people but in a more intimate setting, as a life coach, and therapist. So, I went back to school, earned a degree in social work and then set about getting licensed. During that entire time I still worked at the school. It wasn't until 2013 that I finally quit.

Why? Because I wasn't ready yet.

•I might have thought I was prepared
•Felt I'd outgrown my job
•Was time for a new challenge

But I wasn't actually ready until I was ready. Then I leapt and (apart from a second of fear) haven't looked back. I love what I do, move more fully into it everyday and have no regrets.

Here's why.

If we trust our process then when we do implement the change (behavior, career, relationship) it will stick because inside and out, we're prepared for it.

Perhaps you feel like your process is dragging, has been sidetracked or is just not happening on your timeline. Think again.

Know that life is unfolding for you in exciting new ways and that you are getting exactly what you need in this moment.

Decide where you want to go. Hold on to that vision and trust that everything happening right now is helping you get there.

These 5 Steps Will Help:

1.Relax and Release Internal Stress

When things aren't unfolding at the pace we expect or our current reality isn't what we planned, we can feel stressed, anxious, uncomfortable or just plain annoyed.

What if, instead of trying to control the timeline, you let God or the Universe do it?

Could you then relax and let go of that tension?

How would that feel?

Ask yourself this: If you knew your outcome was assured, would you be concerned about the timeline?

2.Be Clear About Exactly What You Want

Hold on to your goal, your vision - regardless of what is or is not happening. Focus on the outcome that you want. See it clearly. Imagine yourself already there. Be firm in your conviction of this outcome and do not give up. It will happen.

Say it, write it down or make a visual representation of what you want to solidify the direction you want to move toward.

3.Use the Affirmation - Life Loves Me

When we see the Universe as a safe, supportive place, life automatically begins to flow much more easily.

And it feels way better than having to fight, feel afraid or be defensive.

Repeat this affirmation, Life loves me, to yourself over and over again.

The more you remind yourself that you are loved and supported, the more open and willing you will be to allow the new in and watch your life unfold. It's an exciting adventure!

4.Enjoy the Ride

What if everything that was happening right now was to support you, to teach you and to help you get exactly what you want? Would knowing that enable you to enjoy it more?

Believe it, because it's true!

Everything in your life - every person, situation and "challenge" is being presented for your learning.

As the famous Indian avatar, Swami Nityananda said: "God is conducting tests all the time; every occurrence in life is a test. Every thought that crops up in the mind is in itself a test to see what one's reaction will be. Hence one must be always alert and aloof, conducting oneself with a spirit of detachment, viewing everything as an opportunity afforded to gain experience, to improve oneself and go on to a higher stage."

Instead of seeing an annoying person or situation through a negative lens, ask yourself: What is this situation (person) trying to teach me?

Watch how it miraculously shifts.

5.Practice Patience

If you are one of those people who has the unique ability to see into your future, consider yourself lucky! The downside, however, is that once we know it, we all want to be there right NOW!

What I've experienced over and over again when I find myself facing the dissonance between where I am and where I want to be, is that I have to be patient, put one foot in front of the other and walk to my destination.

Things don't magically transform unless we act. All those steps executed one after the other is what manifests the change. And then before you know it, you'll have arrived, all the wiser for the time spent getting there.

Life is meant to be a fun adventure. It isn't a race to the grave. Embrace and enjoy all that comes to you be it the good, the bad and the ugly. Use it to grow and become exactly who you want to be.

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of, offering life coaching, counseling and workshops that combine modern psychology and spirituality. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. To learn more Click Here

Go To Homepage