Entire Young Black Male Population Moves Out of Florida

The entire young black male population of Florida is preparing to leave Florida for good because of ongoing shooting deaths of young black males. Even though homicides against black males is not necessarily a new occurrence, recent events like the Trayvon Martin shooting and the Michael Dunn shooting in February have inspired a particular panic.

Many have claimed to like some things about Florida -- like the warm weather, the women and Rick Ross. But many young black males (or YBMs) have seen a disturbing trend of people like themselves getting shot, and then the justice system failing to get a fair resolution. As a result, a lot of African-American males have been scared "pantless and shitless," and are ready to "get packing."

Said one young black male, "I mean, I thought after Trayvon, we would have learned our lesson and not walk around with hoodies with Skittles in our hands. But now we getting shot because of so-called 'thug music'? Yo, I listen to Rick Ross on the daily. Nah, I need somewhere safe to listen to my shit. Maybe Montana."

A lot of places that are being considered for this has been a lot of Midwestern states, like Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin. Reasons for this sudden interest in these areas have ranged from, "no one tries to shoot you when its cold," and "the girls up there will love me because there ain't no other black dudes in Wisconsin." The most popular answer, however, is: "It ain't Florida."

Many young black males also feel very skeptical about Stand Your Ground, the controversial law in Florida. Said one YBM, as he was hurriedly packing his belongings into his Toyota, "What kinda shit is Stand Your Ground? Basically means if I'm just being black, and I maybe laugh a bit too loud in the movie theater, I might get shot by someone because I'm a threat to his space. Nah, bro, I'm going to Canada."

Experts are calling it The Kind of Great Fourth Migration, named after The Great Migration, when African Americans migrated from the rural South to other urban regions of the United States from around 1910 to 1970. This migration is unprecedented as it will involve all young black males from the entirety of Florida.

Not all YBMs are going to be making this move, however. Jamal Smith, who was born and raised in Miami, refuses to leave. "Yeah, all my friends are gonna leave, but it ain't like this shit don't happen in them other places. I lived through Jeb Bush, the vote recount and Elian Gonzalez. I'll get over white people killing black kids for no reason."

When law enforcement officials were questioned as to their feelings of this sudden development, some expressed sadness and confusion, while one Kevin McTaggerty, of the Sanford Police Department, said, "good riddance!"

Once asked if there could racist undertones to this statement, McTaggerty shook his head profusely and balked at the question.

"Racist? Are you kidding?! I voted for Obama!"