The Growing Masses of Mean Girls

"She wears too much makeup, her face looks like a mask."
"Did you see that picture she posted on Instagram? Could she be any more desperate?"
"She would be so pretty if she was skinnier. Shame that she isn't"
"Have you seen her new haircut? I wonder why she thought she could pull off short hair."
"She has so many tattoos, it's plain gross. What a freak."

I wish I could say that all those cruel, painful comments were figments of my imagination triggered off by too much reality television. But all through high school, I've heard girls say awful things like these about other girls- sometimes much, much worse. I grew up in a generation of mean girls, that only seems to be getting progressively meaner. I was a naive, impressionable eleven year old when I witnessed my first girl versus girl cold war. Two girls in my class hated each other with a passion, for reasons that made no sense to me whatsoever. One said the other was a wannabe with terrible fashion taste and the other believed the first one to be a stuck-up brat who tried too hard to get a date to the school dance. When I meekly asked a friend why this was happening, the friend looked at me like I was crazy. I learned then that this inexplicable hostility between some girls was to be accepted as a part and parcel of the teenage experience. So we trudge through high school, keeping only our set of girls close and making any girl whose choices seemed out of our normal a potential bitching target.

It was only when I finished school and thought all this drama was finally over, when I realized that it never would be. It only takes a little bit of effort to open our eyes and see that the misogynistic world we live in goes all out to convince women that they should constantly be at war with each other. The media plays a highly instrumental role in this. Take the infamous "who wore it better" headlines, that pop up every time two female celebrities coincidentally decide to wear the same outfit on the red carpet. But the scrutiny, and the catty comments on who had the better body for the outfit or who accessorized better are reserved only for the women- not for the male celebrities, who ironically all wear basically the same tux combination to every event. In fact, the notion that successful, powerful women can be friends is so far fetched, that every time Taylor Swift and her infamous girl squad step out together- as normal friends do- the press have a field day. In all my time on the Internet, I've rarely seen a group of male celebrities hanging out make headlines for a week or be deemed hashtag squad goals; that's because men being friends and getting along is normal, whereas the same doesn't apply for women, right?

So the hate begins. We hate on other girls' clothing, dating and social choices, while constantly being assured that there is nothing wrong with all this negativity. Its about time we acknowledge there is. I’ve had the privilege of being friends with some incredible young women over the years, and I know how empowering sisterhood can be. The most heartfelt, genuine compliments I’ve been given are from girls, because they understand that letting you know your eyeliner looks incredible can lift your mood and day. The girls are the ones who’ve stayed up long nights playing therapist because they know how much that one sly comment affected me. The girls understand eye movements and the subtlest of hand signals in crowded nightclubs and they will immediately get you out of there so you’re less uncomfortable. I’ve been at my most emotionally raw, unkempt states around the girls, and they’ve accepted and loved me unconditionally when even I couldn’t. So why don’t we talk more about these beautiful, warm and rewarding aspects of female friendship? Instead, all we hear are nagging, cynics complaining about how girls are too much drama to hang out with.

If there's one thing I wish I could personally tell every girl I know, including myself some years ago, it would be to please replace the hate with acceptance. You don't have to wear bikinis and mini dresses, but cheer on anyone who chooses to; being confident with your body despite unrealistic beauty standards all around is a huge achievement. You don't have to sport a pixie cut and be a star video game player, but support the girls who are; hats off to them for maintaining their unique identities in a world that expects all women to conform to outdated ideals of feminine. We're already fighting a battle with a world that deems us inferior, downplays our achievements and looks down on our choices no matter what. Let's not make enemies of those who are on the same team as we are.