The Grown Woman's Oath

The old paradigm of "there's only room for one" continues to be broken down. We still have a way to go, but it is up to us to create room for the next woman -- not elbow her out of the way.
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I'm tired.

Tired of watching the madness around me. Tired of watching grown women acting like children. Tired of atrocious behavior being rewarded. Tired of the ubiquitous images of unattainable perfection. Tired of the stereotypes being perpetuated and subsequently adopted without question. Tired of the forced baby voices. Tired of the overall dumbing down of womanhood.

But most of all, I'm tired of the way that far too many of us have come to view ourselves and subsequently treat each other.

Who's responsible?

Reality TV? Hollywood? Magazines? Plastic surgeons? Freakin' Photoshop?

We can challenge and change all the external influences we can identify. But, at the end of the day, nothing matters if we don't address our internal beliefs. We all know that nothing really changes if we don't change ourselves and our selves are all we have control over, anyway.

I hate to use the words "should" or "shouldn't," but what the hell. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves and we shouldn't be treating each other in the ways that we sometimes do. Yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to be all spiritual and honoring others' paths, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes you just have to call it like you see it.

There is way too much dysfunction displayed when it comes to women's relationships and many are mistaking those caricatures for reality -- and don't get me started on the depiction of minority women. It's time to stop internalizing the non-stop parade of BS and act like the adults we are.

So, if you are a grown woman, take the pledge. If you aspire to be grown, take the pledge. If you couldn't care less, you're the one who needs to take the pledge most of all.

Like it. Share it. Most all, live it. We can do better.

1. Other women are not my competition.

The old paradigm of "there's only room for one" continues to be broken down. We still have a way to go, but it is up to us to create room for the next woman -- not elbow her out of the way.

2. I admit that gossip is pointless.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt (a debated credit, but I'm going with Eleanor). Which mind do you have? Or are you just out of your mind?

3. I acknowledge that womanhood is self-defined.

Wear a Gucci belt or a tool belt. Have a child or don't. Get married or not. There's a spectrum of womanhood. Do you.

4. I recognize that women have value at every age.

There is no need to feel shame or shame others for the appearance of grey hair, wrinkles or freakin' cellulite. Your essence is ageless.

5. I do not use my emotions as an excuse (to act the fool).

Emotions are indicators that can be used to explore underlying issues. They are not to be suppressed, but don't use them to justify throwing over tables and vanquishing your frenemies. Really?

6. I hold my sexuality sacred.

There is nothing wrong with "being sexy." However, if that is all you lead with, you will never be seen or respected for the whole person you are. It is part of you, but it does not wholly define you. Celebrate it without compromising your wholeness.

7. I will give up comparison.

There will always be another woman with smaller thighs or a bigger bank account. The only comparison you need to make is how you used to be and how far you've come.

8. I always speak in my true voice.

Your voice is worthy of being heard. There is never any need to downplay your truth due to insecurity or in an attempt to manipulate.

9. I am certain of my exquisite nature.

Beneath the layers, you are a unique, invaluable and divine being. Believe.

Do any of these resonate with you? Which parts of the oath have challenged or continue to challenge you? If you feel confident in your grown status, feel free to share your wisdom. We need each other.

Before You Go

'Are You There God, It's Me Margaret' By Judy Blume

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