A few years ago, I was prompted to write a short e-book, The Happy Family, on the strategies we use in our home to promote more happiness. It all began with a formal family gratitude practice in January 2013, and morphed into 10 different strategies that create more harmony and respect in families.
With mindful awareness practices infusing our home life, 10 strategies seemed to emerge simultaneously from the literature I was surveying in neuroscience, positive psychology, Buddhist psychology, and more. This was all occurring while educating a raising three kids of my own. It’s rare that I come right out and share this point, because I also work with my kids and people don’t have a reference point for what I mean.
For example, my three kids and I took a Mindful Nature class at Insight LA with Traca Gress, MA 3-4 times over again. Week after week, we would trek into gorgeous Benedict Canyon in the heart of Beverly Hills, CA to meet our small group of Mindful Nature meditators. Traca led us on a deep exploration of yogic and Buddhist texts that illuminate the wisdom offered in nature. Even though we repeated the same curriculum over and over again, it was always new! I can go on and on about Traca’s giftedness and the gifts she offers in her teachings, however I’d like to connect the transformation I saw in my three kids as we hiked the canyon each week with The Happy Family.
The first time my family and I arrived at Traca’s Mindful Nature class, I explained that I educate and work with my kids at The Connect Group, testing different pedagogies then sharing them with educators around the world. Traca later shared that she didn’t quite know what I meant. And truthfully, I didn’t yet know what happiness was, though Traca did.
On that same first class, I noticed fear in my youngest as she encountered critters that she didn’t like. Despite the fear in her, and the dread of discomfort in me, we meditated, hiked, and discussed for 2 hours. By the last time, we attended there wasn’t any fear, but a deep relationship and connection to the earth, wind, fire, ether, and air that permeated the canyon. And in doing so, we connected with ourselves and with each other.
I quickly came to see how this time – was the most important education time we spent together. It was so hard sometimes, often times, but the gains were beyond measureable.
Fast forward 2 years or so, and my kids and I travel and teach the concepts we discovered together to educators all over the world. We discovered them in the canyon, and also in local parks, museums, and organizations where The Connect Group School took place. Our 2 eldest kids started college at 15 and 16, and our youngest is thriving, though still not keen about bugs!
When people attending my seminars on self-compassion for teens sign up for The Connect Group’s email list, we share a free copy of The Happy Family. It was great when some attendees demonstrated interest in bringing my work with compassion and self-compassion to the parents of their school district, but a bigger ~happier~ surprise loomed!
Cupertino Union School District requested a proposal for programming based on The Happy Family as part of their Parent Education Series, and for professional development too. It was a thrill of a lifetime to create the program with my kids and Traca, and to deliver it over 3 days.
The Connect Group team went to Cupertino to deliver programming based on The Happy Family e-book. First, I delivered an evening talk to 200 parents about the 10 strategies for bringing more happiness into the home, substantiated with neuroscience findings. The next day, I led professional development training for administrators, principals, and assistant principals on happiness, Empathy Circles, and Design Thinking.
The program culminated with a family retreat day with 8 stations designed to promote interaction around the 10 strategies. Traca came along and led the Gratitude and Mindful Nature stations. Lewis Tachau (our 18 years old son,) Lead Program Facilitator, led Empathy Circles and a Design Thinking Challenge on Chore Systems. Chase Tachau (our 17 years old son,) who is our other Lead Program Facilitator, led Improv Games, as well as a Design Thinking Challenge on Celebrating Failure.
The thrill of all this goodness culminated for me when I observed the sweetness of parents connecting with their children, with the intention of cultivating more happiness. This was the penultimate experience for me – as a mother, with my children, for other parents and their children, and for the greater good of all. Happiness.