Yesterday, my meditation for the day was a lesson in Avoidance. Procrastination. Resistance.
Aka TRAFFIC SCHOOL.
I got a speeding ticket on PCH in the summer for going 5 miles over the speed limit (first wave of judgment arises here, as every day I see crazy sports car drivers going 80mph and I was ONLY going 50mph!).
Note the ticket was issued in the summer.. Lesson 1 in procrastination as it is now Thanksgiving week..
I had exactly 3 days left to complete traffic school, although I've know about it for months. You can imagine the abundance of pressure and dread that was building up.
So here we are, yesterday was the chosen day.
I'm well aware that I habitually avoid certain things that I label as drudgery. I have a stockpile of menial chores that go along with being alive that I just keeping pushing pause on.
1. Bring iPad to ATT - 1 yr
2. Get eyes checked - 3 yrs
3. Frame pictures - 5 yrs
As you can see - the super juicy stuff in life.
So here's where I intersect with a pattern of my comfort zone and a moment of wonderment issued by my True Self.
I began wondering why I hate these chores so much?
It's because I leave me out of them.
I leave my heart out, I anticipate tedium and basically, just go numb and hope they'll go away. And then plow through when time is up.
Part of it is also waking up to the timeline life has - which is beyond my control.
What I mean is, I always get things done, I'm seldom delinquent on any responsibility, and in the time of need - it always gets handled.
My two take-aways from yesterday's meditation of Traffic School are these:
1. The more I include myself (my heart, my aliveness, my curiosity) in my Doing, the more I enjoy the experience.
2. Life has a life of its own. I can fret, I can worry and plan or I can attune to where the energy is - to the life that wants to be lived in the moment. I've found I always receive the inspiration and energy when it's truly time instead of when I think it should be time.
Mind you - I'm open to the possibility of not leaving such things to the last minute and I'm also open to accepting that this is just how I roll.
Side note - I brought my laptop to Equinox and spent 3 of the 7 hours walking on a treadmill while going through the test! A+ for ingenuity!
And the best part is - I'm done! The energy of relief is awesome!
How about you, dear friend? What action or chore might you be avoiding that could benefit from bringing more of your heart and attention to. After all, how we do anything is how we do everything.