This article was written by Carrie H., an Essex County, NJ Middle School Student.
The following article is a part of a new series, “Listening to Youth Voices in the New Year.” Each Sunday, articles written by Essex County Middle School students will be published, each week relating to a new topic. You can learn more about this series here.
Every day is a struggle. Every moment is spent fighting against the norm. Every microaggression is noticed, and every insult, no matter how small, hurts. This is what it feels like to live with gender dysphoria, a mental condition that causes a person to feel as though they are the opposite sex of that they were born as. This is why it is so important that genderqueer and transgender people are noticed and accepted. I have never felt more pain than hearing about friends being bullied for being who they are, and not being able to do anything about it. After I heard about the fierce bullying in my school, I wanted to do anything possible to help students who are members of the LGBTQ+ community. This is why I started fighting for a gender neutral bathroom at my school. Seeing my friends feel so upset and invalid is honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I have had the misfortune of experiencing.
What is gender? This is a question that has stumped many people. Gender, to many, is just male and female, but in reality, it is a whole spectrum. Schools are disrespectful of students who do not identify as the gender on their birth certificate. The lack of gender neutral bathrooms in schools is an abuse of power by school districts because the absence of gender neutral bathrooms makes students feel uncomfortable and invalid They are not expensive when there is already a bathroom available, and they would not go unused. Making gender neutral bathrooms a requirement in middle and high schools in America would be a huge step toward achieving acceptance of transgender and genderqueer students.
Gender neutral bathrooms are a place for people that do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth to feel comfortable using the bathroom. It is as simple as that. All schools in America are required to have bathrooms for males and females, but they are not required to have bathrooms for people that do not identify with those two genders. A problem that transgender and gender nonconforming students often face is deciding which bathroom to use, even though they feel uncomfortable in both. According to the Sylvia Rivera project, “trans and gender variant people face severe access problems when it comes to sex-segregated facilities like restrooms, locker rooms, shelters, in-patient drug treatment facilities, prisons and jails, etc.” Without gender neutral bathrooms, it is inevitable that there will be students in the school that do not feel valid or accepted. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center found that between 30% and 40% of LGBTQ+ youth have attempted suicide at least once, due to bullying in schools and feeling invalid. Of those, 20% are transgender or gender non-conforming. There are so many other genders, and school districts ignoring them is an abuse of their power.
Although many people think that gender inclusive bathrooms are expensive and not necessary, they are actually not very expensive at all. Really, all that needs to be done is to purchase a gender inclusive bathroom sign, and these can be very inexpensive. For example, one can be purchased for around $10 on Amazon. Next, the only thing left to do is to change a bathroom from a cisgender bathroom to a gender neutral bathroom. If there is not an available bathroom, it can be a bit more expensive. Many people do not understand that it is so much more uncomfortable for transgender students to change in the locker rooms they are ‘supposed’ to. Gender neutral bathrooms would solve this problem though. They could change where they feel comfortable, and nobody would get angry at them because they are not using a bathroom that doesn’t conform with their birth sex. The price of a gender neutral bathroom is worth it, because it will help make everyone in the school feel more comfortable.
Gender neutral bathrooms will not go unused, despite what people may say. Although you may think that there are no transgender people in your school/community, you never know who may be thankful for them. On top of this, if there is some sort of an event at the school and families are invited, a parent might need to take their young child of the opposite sex to go into the restroom. The gender neutral restroom would allow them to do this. Also, even if there are no people in the school that would use it now, that does not mean that nobody would use it in the future. Moreover, schools and public buildings are required to have modified stalls for disabled people, even if there are no disabled people there. The main concern of people that the Students for Social Change group at my school interviewed was that people would abuse the gender neutral bathroom by using it when they have no use of it. The members of the group, who are trying to make gender neutral bathrooms possible at the school, do see and understand the problem, but there are rules against abusing the male and female bathrooms, so why can’t there be the same kind of rules for gender inclusive bathrooms? Gender neutral bathrooms should be required, and they will definitely be used.
All in all, there is no reason gender neutral bathrooms should not be a requirement for schools in America. The fact that they are not required is an abuse of power by school boards because they make students feel comfortable, cost is not a problem, and they will be used. There is no real reason for them not to become required except for the lack of acceptance of genderqueer and transgender students. It is believed that students might abuse the restroom, but school districts have the power to teach students about how serious of an issue this is. This proves that they are abusing their power, because they have the power to make a change, but instead, they are discriminating against the students that aren’t ‘normal’. By doing this, they are oppressing people for expressing themselves in a way they feel comfortable. When everything that is needed is available, there is no reason to prevent gender neutral bathrooms from being required except fear. If they have the power to make students feel accepted and comfortable, why wouldn’t they use it? A gender neutral bathroom wouldn’t solve every issue that students with gender dysphoria have to face, but it would be one less thing for them to worry about, and that can mean the world to someone, even people who are cisgender. On top of this, every person who sees an act of bullying, no matter how small, can put a stop to it and change someone’s life. A gender neutral bathroom is a sign of acceptance and equality. It may be impossible to make everyone see others as equal, but if transphobia didn’t exist, gender neutral bathrooms would already be common and unquestioned.