For many years, it was unheard of and often completely dismissed to have a diagnosis of something like ADHD or dyslexia. We are hearing more and more about children and associated learning and attention disorders – and what comes along with that. But even still today, with 1 in 5 children struggling with brain-based learning and attention issues that affect reading, writing, math, focus and organization, some people, including teachers, completely dismiss them.
That was the case with my brilliant daughter, who struggled through most of her elementary school years, misunderstood and mislabeled.
When these issues are ignored and not treated, it can directly correlate with chronic absences in children who are bullied, struggle to feel like they have a place in the classroom, or all together dislike school. Raising a child with learning and attention issues is a tough journey. And it’s one that’s full of ups and downs, successes and challenges, questions and decisions. It means facing the fact that your child might need a little extra help to make them feel normal.
It’s only natural to want the best for your child.
Unfortunately, when a child feels completely left out, are struggling with no help, or even being bullied, they are going to find a way to stay home from school. And you, as a sympathetic parent, may feel inclined not to resist that. There’s new evidence to suggest that letting your kids stay home, may do more harm than good.
Children who are chronically absent, even if it is a valid reason, in preschool, kindergarten, and first grade are less likely to read on grade level by the third grade. Students who cannot read at grade level by the third grade are four times more likely to drop out of high school. Only 68% of students with learning issues graduate with a regular high school diploma. But contrary to what many people believe, there is no correlation between learning and attention issues and IQ. With the right strategies and support, these children can succeed in the classroom—and outside of it too.
Having had my own experiences with learning issues, I understand the struggle on more levels than one. My family has been touched by dyslexia for 3 generations. My mother has Dyslexia. My older brother was severely Dyslexic and I have also struggled with some visual processing issues over the years. It’s tough to be a Dyslexic kid and it is equally as difficult to be a parent of one. It means more planning, more preparation for school, and for me, it is very important that a teacher knows and understands what issues my child is facing.
Learning to read was a serious battle for my daughter. Never once did I doubt her intellectual capacity and ability to overcome her visual processing disorders. She was tough and persistent and it paid off. But not without battle scars, for both of us.
Tips and Suggestions
· Figure out why your child is absent from school.
· Are they dealing with a chronic illness like asthma?
· Are they being bullied or struggling at school?
· Ask teachers and community leaders for advice and specific resources in your area.
· Don’t be afraid to reach out to other parents in your area to ask for help and share tips.
We have had a good run of amazing teachers who are willing to really work with my children. One year, we had a huge fear that we would get the assigned teacher who didn’t “believe in” dyslexia. It literally gave me nightmares. Success for a student with learning and attention issues requires focus on individual achievement, individual progress, and individual learning. If we cannot get our teachers on board, we will never make progress for our children.
Research continues to confirm that we can help children with learning and attention issues become successful in school – we just need parents and teachers to be aware of the help that is available to them. There are programs out there such as Understood.org and their #BeUnderstood campaign and Absences Add Up, that to generate awareness about learning and attention issues and what to do to help keep your kids in school.
I am not going to lie – I have often questioned my own abilities to parent a Dyslexic child. At times, it’s enough to make a parent lose their mind. There are tons of resources out there, both public and private, that can help you figure it all out.
By understanding the different types of learning disorders and their signs, you can pinpoint the specific challenges your child faces and find a treatment program that works. Your job as a parent is not to “fix” the learning and attention issues, but to give your child the social and emotional tools he or she needs to work through challenges. In the long run, facing and overpowering a challenge such as learning and attention issues can help your child grow stronger and more resilient. This can lead to higher self-esteem, feeling a sense of self-worth in the classroom, and eventually enjoying getting up and going to school.
If you’ve struggled with this issue with your children, or know someone else who has, I hope some of my insights are helpful. Note: I don’t have answers for anyone, just experience and practical (I hope) wisdom to share.