I'm not the type to make New Year's resolutions. Instead, I make resolutions year round, on a need-to basis. It feels arbitrary and artificial to me to do it just because it's a certain day of the year. However, with the end of 2015 approaching, I can't help but reflect on some of the things I've learned this year and how they have changed me. It seems important and necessary to evaluate where I currently am, in order to make the best decisions that will set me up for a successful 2016. Here are my top 10:
1. As one of my dearest friends warned me, "There is always a whisper before a scream." Wow, is this ever true. I have learned to trust my gut. There have been so many times where I just felt deep down something wasn't right but chose to ignore the whispers. I wanted to push down and repress what my subconscious was telling me. I shouldn't have. Trust and listen to yourself. You may not want to know the truth, but you know when something's not right. Be smart and don't let yourself be surprised when the scream comes.
2. I'm definitely a work in progress on this one, but if you have a particular goal in life, be brave and go for it. A back-up plan helps and is often the smart thing to do, but can also impede the original goal itself. Be strong and take risks. YOLO, right?
3. I have once again been reminded that life can change in the blink of an eye. This reality hit me like a brick wall four years ago when my 4-year-old was diagnosed with Leukemia. One day she was running around outside playing tag and three days later she was admitted to the hospital and undergoing a bone marrow biopsy. Ever since then I have been painfully aware of the fragility of life. Each year, it seems someone I know is diagnosed with a terrible disease or disappears from the earth for some unexpected and tragic reason. Here today -- gone tomorrow. Hold on tight and never take a day for granted. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
4. The power of laughter is magical. There will always be struggles in life, but I want to laugh as much as possible. If I could find a way to spend my whole life laughing, I would. For real.
5. I have never been a judgmental person, but I do have certain beliefs and standards that I tend to hold people to. I have learned this year to soften those standards and that you can never pass judgment on someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Things that seemed ludicrous to me at the beginning of this year now are more understandable. Not that I agree any more with people acting in certain ways or putting up with certain things, but I can now understand how it happens -- from deep in my heart.
6. I say this every year, but we all must take breaks from the online world. Our kids need our attention. They know when we are reading our texts or are on Facebook and just nodding our heads. Even if we think we are getting the full gist of what they're saying, we're not. We need to look them in the eye, notice the intonation in their voice, and make them feel, from within, that we are genuinely interested in every word they are saying. This doesn't happen enough and they deserve better.
7. I have always been against falling into the easy trap of getting stuck in the rut of everyday life. We all have so many responsibilities and so much to do, but if we don't put the extra energy into doing what we need to plus having new adventures, another year will pass with nothing much new to show for it. We only get so many years. Get out there and explore and live. Make plans with friends, meet new people, and get on that plane! Plan and execute. If you don't plan it, it will never happen.
8. While I am an eternal optimist, I have learned that people can be cruel and disrespectful in different ways. Fortunately or unfortunately, this has caused me to put up walls. The human spirit is fragile -- protect it at all costs. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable can be a beautiful thing, but there are also inherent risks. I hope to learn the balance one day.
9. I will continue to be open and gracious to humanity. There are so many different kinds of people in the world with so many different viewpoints. We are all just human beings, but, unfortunately, many people forget that. I will continue to trust and believe in love and peace.
10.Last but not least, make every day count. Some days may be a wash, but make up for it the next day. Don't get through the next 365 days and be in the exact same place you are today. Living 80 of the same years is not a "life."