The Iquitarod!: Sarah Palin's Latest Arctic Sport

Oh My God!!! My friends in Alaska are having all the fun: Shannyn Moore and AKMuckraker, legends both, squires of free speech, calling up the spirits of Lexington and Concord on the Fourth of July, no less, and challenging the wannabe Queen of Alaska, "the deranged frostvixen quitterface" (to borrow a phrase from HuffPo's Jason Linkins), and her duplicitous court jester of an attorney, Tommy Van Flein, who apparently fancies himself barrister for the House of Hanover.

It's been a helluva Independence Day weekend in the Last Frontier. Wow! First the Governor resigns (I had her nearly incoherent speech translated into English to make sure this was confirmed), then she allows no questions, no open media coverage, provides no serious explanation (save for the most banal and insipid basketball metaphors) and expects no one to wonder why in the world she would step down from the governorship, which is the only platform from which she can claim any political legitimacy. And we're not supposed to speculate? Come now.

Leave it to Paul Begala to muster up the ghost of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's all-mighty line: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. If only the Doctor of Gonzo were around now to turn Palin and her circle of sycophants into mincemeat. For us mere mortals, we can only have her for lunch.

And just when you think it can't get any weirder--the trailer trash revelations of Troopergate; the McCain camp calling her a "whack job from Wasilla"; the turkeys being slaughtered in the background on Thanksgiving; her on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again attendance at GOP fund raisers--then Palin's shill of an attorney sends out the most inane, pathetic and ridiculous press release that I have ever seen in my 35 years in journalism. It's a full-fledged assault on the First Amendment. He's threatening to sue the indomitable Shannyn Moore, HuffPo, the New York Times, Washington Post, and half the internet for speculating as to the real reasons that Palin stepped down from Governor--and in the end, there were only two possible explanations: 1) that there was some sort of bombshell about to explode; or 2) that Palin did such an absolutely wretched job as Governor that she couldn't do anything but quit.

Van Flein is telling us it's Door No. 2. As Tommy Boy's letter indicates, and I quote:

[S]everal unscrupulous people have asserted false and defamatory allegations that the "real" reasons for Governor Palin's resignation stem from an alleged criminal investigation pertaining to the construction of the Wasilla Sports Complex. This canard was first floated by Democrat operatives in September 2008 during the national campaign and followed up by sympathetic Democratic writers.

Then came the threat: "To the extent several websites, most notably liberal Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore, are now claiming as 'fact' that Governor Palin resigned because she is 'under federal investigation' for embezzlement or other criminal wrongdoing, we will be exploring legal options this week to address such defamation." No one has claimed anything as fact. What radio host and blogger Moore and others, including myself, reported was that there were rumors of a pending investigation. The rumors have been circulating everywhere. Why? Van Flein tells us the answer:

Wayne Barrett, a writer for the left wing Village Voice, published these insinuations, on October 7, 2008 in a story entitled "The Book of Sarah." This was written in the style of one pretending to be amazed that so many people in a small town like Wasilla appear to know one another, support one another, and take on big projects together. Apparently that is uncommon in New York. Rather than recognize that leaders of a community often mobilize to accomplish projects, the writer offered this up as an unusual and questionable association of special interests.

Left wing! The cheap shot at New York!!! What would Rudy Giuliani say? What the fuck does Van Flein think that the people of New York did after 9/11 when he and Palin sat on their asses in Anchorage and Wasilla respectively? The provincialism is as disgusting as it is disingenuous. Let me say this for my peep in Brooklyn: Tommy Van Flein, vaffanculo! You're a punk. And Sarah: No more Yankee tix for you! Rudy's gonna take away your Big Apple privileges.

Van Flein then reminds us that Palin played politics on the Sports Arena project as well. Just as she's always done. Wherever she's been.

In addition, Sarah Palin was then criticized by some of not showing enough interest in the project. The Frontiersman reported that at a public meeting with the Chamber of Commerce, an opponent of the project "accused Wasilla Mayor Sarah Palin of staying quiet about the arena because of her campaign for Lieutenant Governor."

That would be the campaign for lieutenant governor where Palin was later caught using City of Wasilla resources to run her campaign. Yes that one. The same one in which she accepted tainted contributions from VECO (10 percent of her campaign funds), the same company at the center of Ted Steven's corruption scandal. And the same Sports Arena that has been an economic disaster for Wasilla. But I digress.

So I thank Van Flunky for reminding us of all that.

I disagree with some of my friends who say this is "out of character" for the good governor. Sarah Palin quit five colleges in her otherwise unremarkable collegiate career, before finally graduating from the sixth. She quit her job in television. She and Todd quit their snow machine dealership in Big Lake. She quit her job as Mayor of Wasilla to run for lieutenant governor. She quit as chair of the Alaska Oil & Gas Conservation Commission. Now she has quit the governorship of the state she supposedly loves. Sarah Palin is a quitter. When the going gets tough, Sarah Palin quits.

Sarah Palin has no game.

My 14-year-old daughter just told me that someone on Twitter has come up with a new term for Palin's resignation: Iquitarod.

Perfect.

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