As far back as I can remember, I've wanted to be a mother. I used to dream about what my children would look like, sound like, the things they would enjoy. I could picture the beautiful lives we would have together. I would dream of little footsteps running down the stairs on Christmas morning and seeing the magic in their eyes as they saw the surprises from Santa. What I couldn’t imagine though was how much motherhood would change me.
My husband and I were getting ready to drive from Texas to Colorado to spend the Christmas holiday with our family. I decided to take a pregnancy test before we left, just to see. To my very pleasant surprise, two lines showed up, pregnant. I remember being overcome with happiness, through my tears I kept repeating ‘thank you, thank you’ because I was so grateful for this gift growing inside my belly. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year and to be able to share this news with our family over my favorite holiday was more than I could have asked for. My husband and I spent the next 13 hours driving and talking about how our lives were about to change. Christmas Eve we always do a big dinner over at my in-law’s house and this year my family joined in the festivities. Each member of our family was given a gift bag with a little bib in it and we had them open their presents at the same time. This memory will be etched in my mind as one of the happiest.
I took the job of growing this tiny human in my belly very seriously. I did all the research I could, read a lot of books, avoided all the things I should, ate well and took my vitamins and prayed over my growing belly each day. My husband and I took every parenting and baby class we could through our hospital, and yet even with all this preparation I could not be prepared for what motherhood would be like.
The day Charlotte came into the world was the best day of my life. Watching my husband and the love of my life become a father was indescribable. Knowing that this new beautiful child was mine to have, forever, was magnificent. Through the many tears and sleepless nights were also the most enchanting moments. The first smile (even if it was gas), her intoxicating smell, the newborn snuggles, and the way she lit up when she heard mine or her dad’s voice. Though the days ran into the nights and the nights ran into the days, I was so happy and continue to be so happy.
Just in her three short years of life my happy memories have increased exponentially. I am so incredibly thankful that I was chosen to be Charlotte’s mother. I have found where I am supposed to be, even if it’s temporary. I wouldn’t want to spend my days any other way, even despite the tantrums and hard days. I will continue to choose the magic of motherhood. To my surprise the reality of motherhood is even better than I dreamed as a kid. Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there, may your journey be filled with as much enchantment and joy as humanly possible.