The Kidnapping of President Trump

The Kidnapping of President Trump
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

I have this concept for a screenplay I’d like to just put out there for one of those pioneering, black dressed, female filmmakers, or anyone else for that matter, to take on…

Imagine a group of world leaders, educators and scientists deciding, for the good of the universe, to kidnap and re-educate President Trump.


With the aid of some of Trump’s beleaguered senior staff and a few frustrated generals, he is abducted from his Mar-a-Lago golf course and whisked away in a stealth black-ops helicopter to an undisclosed location, perhaps in downtown Detroit.

In a “Clockwork Orange” type brainwashing sequence, standing at a public school blackboard, he is forced to watch an endless loop of his lies, contradictions and half-truths, with electrodes attached to his privates, prodding him to write the line “I will not lie anymore” over and over, with each alternative fact.

He is then seated in a school desk, electrodes still in place, where over the next few days, he is given a compressed fourth grade education, including reading, writing, vocabulary, English grammar, and American history.

During this time he is force-fed real food, including an array of fruits and vegetables… nothing fried, battered, or packed with preservatives, artificial flavoring or colors.

His elementary education is capped off with a complete reading of the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, with the aid of Condoleezza Rice.

Next comes a basic tutorial in international relations with Henry Kissinger

Finally, he’s provided with a crash course in science by Jane Goodall, including the concept of conservation, and the distinction between weather forecasting and global warming.

In order to be released, Trump must demonstrate a reasonable retention of the materials presented, along with an on-camera confession, to his past misrepresentations, and promise to do better in the future. (This latter event might require some sleep deprivation and enhanced interrogation techniques to achieve.)

Before final release, the President is placed in a bath of ice water, after which a picture is taken of his dick, next to his hands and an easy to read ruler, to be used as future leverage.

In the end, he is returned to the 18th hole at Mar-a-Lago, with a diploma from the “International College of Concerned Citizens,” as his video confession is released to the press. The ‘dick pic’ is held in abeyance.


Popular in the Community


What's Hot