Being the comedy writer by trade that I am, I try to seek out the funny as much as I can in order to produce those wonderful little gas bubbles of giggles in the gut of my audience with a light cologne splash of enlightenment whenever possible.
I was all set to write about last night's Melania Trump Orange-C speech which was proof positive of what only someone who graduated from Trump University -- who got her Ph.D in jewelry shopping and plagiarism -- could have pulled off.
Her cap and gown, by the way, was a mortar board and matching thong bikini bottom.
There was SO much to mock from Chachi Arcola's incomprehensible speech (Henry Winkler evidently will be delivering a response at next week's DNC) to that guy from Duck Dynasty who evidently likes to dress like the toothless cast of Deliverance to Trump's entrance which seemed like a man at the end of his life walking cluelessly towards the white light. Did you not notice his constantly asking for directions back there? Which way is heaven? Really? I'm going... there?
But I have to say despite being warned not to watch the show, in between watching the Yankee game I did catch a moment of that mom talking about the loss of her son in Benghazi, and while my heart goes out to her, are you fucking kidding me?
There in one single moment of pure outrage was what the GOP is all about. I'm sorry, after spending 7 MILLION dollars on the Benghazi hearing and coming up with NOTHING... which included the work of a bi-partisan panel, they came up with this. Using a woman like that.
So let me ask you this. Being that even Trump would admit that the Iraq war was insanely wrong because the entire thing was based on FAKE intelligence that was manufactured by the Bush/Cheney administration would it now be okay if the Democrats paraded out, in direct response to that horrible manipulation of America's emotions, say thousands and thousands of relatives of all the members of the American military who were either killed, crippled, blinded or committed suicide?
I mean what is the difference? Isn't it all about blame? But the thing is, Hillary is NOT to blame, but our previous administration of war criminals are.
And in the end, Bush gets to dance the Wiggles Dance at the memorial service for the slain cops. And then he goes home and paints fucking clowns.
God, how despicable can a political party be?
Beyond being NOT Christian on ANY level and full of deceit and lies, let me tell you what that kind of behavior is going to provoke.
In fact, it already has.
When Carly Fiorina showed that FAKE Planned Parenthood film during her run for the presidency, what happened folks? One of her typical constituents followed her lead and went out and shot up a Planned Parenthood center in Colorado.
And she gets to go home and cackle -- when not falling off a stage.
The real writer of The Art of The Deal has come out and said that if Trump gets his hands on the nuclear code it will be the end of civilization. And this is a man who had full access to that private, lovable family man who Melania told us about last night. I guess love and diamonds just blind you.
Since Ghostbusters opened, Leslie Jones, one of America's funniest black performers has been receiving tweets that are beyond racist. I'm sorry, did Ernie Hudson get that kind of fan mail?
Trump has unleashed the beast. While Bill Cosby and Roger Ailes go down in flames in the court of life and public opinion, we sit back like the nation of Calilgulas that we now are and allow all these irresponsible assholes the freedom to say and do whatever they want in order to achieve one single purpose: to mock experience, education and science so that the literal and metaphorical dummies of Americas are given a ventriloquist's thrown voice to make them feel empowered by being given the toy key to the exclusive bathroom of the city of Stupid.
Yes, of course this is exactly what Hitler did. He spread the BIG LIE, blamed the Jews and the rest is the kind of history that will never, ever leave our souls.
So welcome to the new game show in America, All Bets Are Off where the rules are no rules, where you can say and do whatever you want because that's what will make America great again: by speaking your mind.
Well, what happened when you have no mind?
Why, you buy up all the military grade weapons you want and you get to shoot whoever it is you feel like hatin' on. Blacks? Bang. Cops? Bang. Sandy Hook post-toddlers? Bang.
The answer to everything now is turn it into a target and go have yo'self one fine shooter up.
We are allowing this and we have to put a stop to this now. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that the GOP is blaming on Obama is their fault. All of it.
Their obstructionism, their covert/overt 8-year racism, their trying to impose their own anti-Christ agenda while pandering to the evangelicals is reason enough to send them all straight to the slums of hell which I assure is where they are all going.
Do they not get the concept of Judgement Day?
Stop them. Stop this anti-American, anti-Patriotic, anti-man, anti-woman, anti-black, anti-Latino, anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim insanity.
Every time we blame "Muslims" we get a gold fucking star from ISIS. We are their best recruiters now.
All we have to do is act like ourselves.
Shame on us.