The Lesbian Chronicles 25: Mournimg

Mourning

I'm mourning the loss of my family.
I'm mourning the loss of my dream
of sharing a holiday meal with
all my relations.
I'm mourning the loss of my
innocence.
I'm mourning the loss of my
knee cartilage.
I'm mourning the loss of running
one more marathon.
I'm mourning the loss
of ever seeing my name
in lights
on a marquee.

I'm mourning the loss of
my rose coloured glasses.
I'm mourning the loss
of my addictions.
I'm mourning the loss
of all my hiding places.

All I have left here
is to listen to a fledgling voice
that whispers

Katharine -

Relax into the void.
Trust in your life.

I'm not exactly certain
how to trust in my life.
Trusting traditionally
has not been my forte.

The one thing I do
feel I can trust
is my impulse this moment
to place my right hand
gently over my heart
holding it steady.

Perhaps for today
that is enough.

K.A.L6