I believe in signs. An incurable romantic, when I found a small diamond ring embedded in the snow this afternoon, my initial feeling was one of joy, for what better sign of love impending then finding a diamond ring? Sadly, upon further inspection I realized that both the gold and the diamond were fake.
Now how should I interpret this sign? My gut tells me that Mandy, the woman that I have been pursuing via online dating, is not my bashert, my true love, my person. I know this not just because I found a faux ring in the snow, but by her lack of response to my last two emails.
Last year I read an article in The New York Times about a woman who had posed a set of 36 questions to a new mate. They completed the questions and fell in love.The questions had been posted along with the article which I promptly saved, hoping one day to ask these questions to a potential partner of my own.
Sadly, Mandy and I had only gotten to question 6 before she stopped emailing me. I have just been hanging on in the e-dating ethers, wishing that a miracle would happen, one where she would decide that long distance was not a deterrent in a long term relationship, or whatever the issue was that decided my fate.
There’s a weird phenomenon happening in the e-dating world. One person just suddenly stops corresponding with the other. They feel it’s perfectly acceptable to stop writing without an explanation. There’s even a term for it called ‘ghosting’. Finding the ring confirmed for me what I had been avoiding for the last few days, Mandy has metaphorically left my building.
The chance at love will come again, though next time I must be more judicious before falling. I can’t afford to be lulled into thinking she is the real deal, only to be gutted when her glitter fails to sustain and her diamond is suddenly seen as the glass it always was.
Note to self: Listen to Joan Baez sing 'Diamonds and Rust'.