Our focus and intentions create the life we have. When we focus on all the amazing abundance in our lives, more of that begins to show up. When we focus on all the scarcity in our lives, we are overwhelmed with all that is lacking. We are constantly programming our brain to seek more of what we are focusing on. "Where focus goes energy flows. And if you don't take the time to focus on what matters, then you're living a life of someone else's design." -- Tony Robbins, peak performance coach, entrepreneur, and best-selling author.
So what happens in those moments of doubt where we fall down that rabbit hole and begin to second guess ourselves? Our focus shifts and we begin to feel overwhelmed and lost. And sometimes this results in a complete meltdown. It's uncomfortable and feels awful in the moment. But believe it or not, a meltdown can result in positive results to shift your mindset to one that is more serving.
As a life coach who focuses on the power of intention, my daily thoughts tend to range on the more positive side. I am happy to say that I have had some amazing opportunities present themselves to me, have a super supportive boyfriend and family, and have been enjoying a phenomenal summer with lots of travel and adventures. But despite all of these wins, life's pressures have been building in my mind and within my body. Thoughts of doubt and overwhelming feelings had been coming up for me. Even though all of my personal and professional transitions have been great, I felt like I was starting over. And that inner mean diva was challenging me with thoughts like:
"What if this doesn't work?" "What if I fail?" and "Who do you think you are?"
Mean diva had been chirping in my ear, until one night... BOOM... complete meltdown! Like an atomic bomb, ugly cry meltdown. And it felt AWFUL in the moment, but was probably one of the greatest gifts that I could have experienced, because it taught me a valuable lesson and way to prepare for the future. I was able to find the magic in a meltdown and here is how:
1. Pity Party Permission: So as I busted out into an explosion of tears, I gave myself permission to have a full blown pity party. And luckily, as I sat next to my boyfriend, he gave me space to just vent, cry, and "wallow." And it felt good, in an awful way, to indulge in those pity feelings. Too often we brush our feelings of sadness or fear aside and push through by not truly acknowledging how we feel. By indulging in a pity party from time to time, we release these less serving emotions from our body and mind, and create space for more serving intentions and feelings to show up.
2. Reset your mindset: Once you indulge in your pity party, having a really good cry, temper tantrum (or both!) then it's time to reset your mindset. I gave myself permission that night to feel bad and made a promise to myself that tomorrow would be a new day, with new affirming intentions to guide me towards a better day. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day, we all do, but it is up to us to take responsibility by putting a time limit on feeling sorry for ourselves (24 hours maximum!) and then shift our mindset by shifting our thoughts. Intention setting can help tremendously with this process!
3. Find the lesson, feel the blessing: Every moment, whether they feel good or not, gives us the opportunity to learn something new about ourselves. So even in our sad and feeling bad moments, there is a lesson to be learned and that is the greatest blessing. For my meltdown, my biggest takeaway was I need to take better care of myself, with more yoga, juicing, and exercising. My self-care routines have fallen off a little with all of the new changes in my life and my meltdown alerted me that I need to amp them up even more during this time of transition and hard work.
A meltdown isn't a bad thing; there is so much magic you can find within it, lessons you can learn, and hidden blessings. It is just a matter of how you handle the chaos in the moment and what responsibility you take for how you want to feel. It can be challenging to get back on track... believe me I have had many times where I have wanted to overindulge in a pity party and stay there for days. But by giving ourselves permission to meltdown and then set new positive intentions based on the lessons we learned; we can begin to shift our mindset to one that is more forward thinking.
Our intentions are powerful beyond belief, which is why setting strong affirming ones is so important. Find the magic in your meltdowns and set your intentions to live your very best life!
Melissa Escaro is a life coach and author who focuses on stress reduction and modern mindfulness. She believes in the power of intentional thought, that our thoughts create our reality, and that we have the power to create a life of abundance, joy, and fulfillment. Melissa is the author of In10tions: A Mindset Reset Guide to Happiness. Get a free daily dose of inspiration with In10tions 365, based on her book! www.melissaescaro.com
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