As I was driving around today, I heard the song, "Cool Summer" by Bananarama.
It came out in 1984 during the summer, and I remember the woman I was dating. It was my college girlfriend, Ellen. I graduated college and I was so in love. We were six months into the relationship, and I couldn't believe we had to be apart the following year. We talked about it all summer, trying to think of ways we could make it work.
She was going to take the train to me every other weekend. We would spend four days together in the month, and it would be fine. It was so innocent, captivating and beautiful. I remember falling in love again when I was 24. I couldn't believe the overwhelming feeling I had for another person. It was as if I'd swallowed some drug that left me feeling a little bit crazy.
Now, I see myself as a grown man and I wonder, "What happened to the magic of being in love? Why doesn't it feel the way it used to feel?"
While I was driving, I decided I was going to figure this out for all of us, and I came to this conclusion: Love doesn't feel like it used to because people are much more screwed up now. We're a society of people who live in fear. The one thing we all want is the thing we fear the most. When we were kids, we knew how to let go, but now we're adults and we're stiff.
When we got out of college, our whole life was in front of us. We didn't have the many pain points, fears and limiting beliefs that color our behavior and hold us back from surrendering.
Love was magic. Falling in love was absolute magic. Songs resonated. We created memories. And now as we get older, we've been divorced, we've had marriages and relationships that didn't work out; we want to find love but we're afraid to give into it.
We want to be open, but we over analyze everything. We think there's a game that needs to be played. If you get back to somebody too quickly, you're going to be showing your cards, so you have to play it cool. We have all these games and rules people created. When we were younger we felt free to be vulnerable and offer our hearts.
It becomes all about ego when we get older. Our egos are "protecting" us from falling in love. That's what's so sad. Love is what we all need. Love is what all of us desire. Love is all we're ever going to care about the day we die. We're not going to care about that great BMW we bought; we're going to remember the feelings we got from the people in our lives. That's what love is. Love is being heard, love is being seen, love is being felt. Love is being vulnerable to feel your emotions.
Love is listening. Love is embracing. Love is kissing. Love is touching. The magic is still there. We just have to tap into that magic. And we need to tap into it fast, because the older we get, the more the stories and fears become real.
When we were younger, our stories were about innocence and falling in love. We yearned for something we knew nothing about. Now we understand that what we want has previously brought us pain and fear and agony.
Love is a beautiful thing. Let love grow inside your heart and watch the love that comes out in the people around you.