On a casual Thursday I scrolled through my newsfeed eager to read all the latest updates in current events around politics, media, and the arts. As I read further, I stumbled across Trace Ellis Ross’ speech at Glamour’s Women of the Year Summit. I remember it like it was yesterday—it technically was a day before I would pen this piece. In the short clip on Glamour, Tracee Ellis Ross preaches an 11:20 minute sermon that spoke abundant life into millions of listeners as it swooped down and met each of us uniquely where we were in that very moment.
It reminded me of a few weeks prior where I read excerpts from social media messages circulating the Internet regarding what use to be coined as the “American Dream.” This dream that has permeated society for so long has transformed from how we once knew it to no longer serve as the cookie cutter model for identifying how our lives can take shape and form; the fabulous wedding, white picket fence, family with two children, a pet, and a sustainable job. The once staples of this dream, no longer look completely the same or occur in this exact order for many of us. And Tracee’s here to tell us the choice is ours and that's okay.
Studies portray these changes to be true for many millennials as the prices of homes and education have increased, in addition to an increase in requirements for jobs that have led millennials to hustle to succeed in an ever-changing and swiftly evolving global environment. In 2016, Forbes noted some of these changes in a new study by CareerBuilder stating that more than one third of working millennials have a side job. 39% of workers ages 18-24 and 44% of workers age 25-34 reported earning extra cash on the side, in comparison to an average of 26% of workers from ages 35-52. The majority of workers taking on side gigs made less than $50k a year (Forbes, 2016).
Additionally, with the prices of homes on the rise, more millennials are: a) staying home well into their mid-to-late twenties and beyond to cutback on costs or b) straying away from buying homes all together. Recent research depict that millennial homeownership is at a US record low and a US economist shared that Bank Of America Merrill Lynch (BAML): "believes the delay in homeownership is due to tighter credit standards and lifestyle changes, including delayed marriage and children." Further research according to the Federal Reserve depicts the steady increase of student debts and loans since 2006 have also contributed to these numbers (Business Insider, 2017).
Time Magazine has also reported that according to the CDC the number of women having kids after age 35 is once more on the rise with 46 states having experienced these changes. Furthermore, new studies have identified that first time older mothers are generally further educated and likely to have greater resources to provide for their child(ren) such as higher incomes. Studies have also noted that healthy 40-year-olds can have less risky pregnancies if they eat healthy, refrain from harmful behaviors, and exercise (Time Health, 2014).
So why did this speech touch millennials so deeply? Because as studies highlight and life reveals to many of us, it is okay to choose. It okay to choose to pursue your purest dreams doing the things you love, touching, and transforming the lives of others. Its okay delay the beautiful milestones that the American dream once thrusted at us. Its okay to: do the reverse, do it in a different order, do it all, do one, do some, or none at all. Success can be defined on our own terms and in our own unique time to include riches that extend far beyond life’s most salient staples.
Each journey is unique and Tracee reminded us to “lean into” those journeys. Embrace who we are, learn from our experiences, and grow. She exuded that life’s beauty lies in the process and the riches we find along the way, in addition to the courage and bravery we radiate to reveal those simple beauties. If there’s anything we’ve learned from Tracee, its that each life story’s uniqueness comes with all of life’s most difficult and beautiful treasures.
Therefore, in the paraphrased words of Tracee: Our lives are ours. We are not selfish, pushy, aggressive, controlling, relentless, stubborn, sluts, nagging, or ball breakers for putting ourselves first. We can think for ourselves, be ourselves, own our experiences, our bodies, and our lives. We can own our power and have agency over our own glory and sexuality as a way of being. It’s okay to be brave and not prescribe to the implicit patriarchal rules that label the types of women we should be, because being brave is beautiful. This can be us, hearts open, hair how we please, and full of our agency; fully embodying it and fully integrating it into our lives.
See full speech below: