"There's no way he could win, right?" I asked my undocumented friend Tuesday night.
We were in Common Ground, a safe space for students of color at Sarah Lawrence College, watching the election coverage. He was anxiously refreshing every browser on his laptop. He wanted to see if his home state of North Carolina would go red.
We both agreed it would be close. But love trumps hate, we told ourselves.
I left Common Ground around 9:40 Tuesday night, anxious and exhausted. I decided I would wait for the country to elect its first female president from the comfort of my dorm room. As I watched CNN's live coverage, I clicked through statuses of my schoolmates, whom the Princeton Review declared the "Most Liberal Students" this year.
Suddenly, the "I'm With Her" posts became "I'm so scared".
More accurately, "What a time to be alive!! I can officially say that I am part of history. I was fortunate enough to get to vote for our president Barack Obama in 2012 and today I cast my vote for Hilary Clinton. I know my ancestors are smiling down today!! #Imwithher".
What I saw were frightened statuses. "I am genuinely scared for my life. I am scared for America. I have lost all belief and trust in the world." And "I'm so scared right now--I can't even hold in my screams".
People began to scream "Fuck Donald Trump" and chant "Kill Donald Trump" around midnight. The next morning, the world went on. We went to class. Some walked out of class. The others who stayed found themselves surrounded by those in tears.
The emails began to pour in. The Office of Student Affairs and Diversity and Campus Engagement would host two post-election check-ins. On Facebook, students organized "The Big Scream" an unofficial event for "a moment of silence and a big scream".
The president of my college emailed students in the afternoon: "
The national election results we have just witnessed seem astonishing in their potential ramifications. As constituents of a progressive learning community that values inclusion, diversity and informed, respectful discourse, we are each processing in our own ways what the future may hold for the nation and for ourselves.
There was a prayer circle, and an interfaith vigil.
One of my Sarah Lawrence Facebook friends offered her dorm room, her fuzzy blankets, and tea.
Someone painted "Amerikka Fuck Trump" on our free expression board.
But, ultimately, I felt love, not hate on November 9, 2016. As one student posted: "I am with her. I will always be with her. And I am with you. And will always be with you."
I know those outside of our bubble of liberalism will say the students of Sarah Lawrence College overreacted. Maybe. But that is not clear if Trump is true to his promises.
Nor it is clear how long our students will stay angry. As I heard someone say on the day after the election: "[We] are going to dinner and then smoking pot. You should come."