THE MOTHER OF ALL SHOWS

Personally I am not a fan of the horror genre simply because life itself scares the crap out of me on a fairly constant basis. And it doesn't take much to freak me out.

Kevin Spacey playing Bobby Darin? Hear that? That'd my knees still knocking. Sleeping without a nightlight at my age? Well thanks to that bitch Hurricane Sandy I got to experience that particular nightmare. Writing about my fears publicly? Even that I would never do. Oh. Wait,

So it is a staggering surprise to me that I became addicted to Bates Motel. Now I'm no lightweight. I also hooked on Game of Thrones but I counterbalance it with shows like The Good Wife---whose end, to me, was the real slap in the face. My inner girl so needed Alicia to be carried off into the sunset by Jason like the officer and a gentleman that he is. In theses times of ISIS and Trump the world simply needs resolution and daffy contentment don't you think?

But I digress, often by the second, which brings me back to Bates Motel.

I am barely old enough to remember when Psycho came out and I do recall hearing that people were fleeing the theater and even fainting. This is often my reaction to religious services and watching Fox News so the terror seemed beyond real for me.

But here is the thing with Bates Motel: it is brilliantly written (I'm a long employed TV writer) and the cast is just flawless.

Nothing makes me happier than losing myself in the work of people who I consider masters. Better Call Saul? Can writing get any better than the work of Vince Gilligan?

It is easy to dismiss Bates Motel as campy---especially if you have never checked into the show.

The biggest shock to me personally is Freddie Highmore, a one time British child actor (Finding Neverland) who somehow embodies the wanton weirdness of Anthony Perkins. He and his mom, played by the staggeringly great Vera Farmiga (which sounds like a good dish at Rao's) are like watching a master class in acting in the most perverse way imaginable. Glued eyes? Are you fucking kidding me?

I was a devotee of Lost too so I have already prayed at the alter of Carlton Cuse. Lost was a mental illness level compulsion for me whose mysteries drove me insane. (Nestor Carbonell is in Bates too and he is just great).

So as writer and fan, if you have not become a zealot (I do call myself a Master Bater) then do yourself a favor: treat yourself to one of the smartest, most deeply twisted and pristinely acted show on TV.

And you won't even have to watch episode---because your head will be buried in your lap over and over again.

I would love to write more, but my mother is on the phone.. And she has been dead for ten years.