Parents

A Letter To My Beautiful Son On The Mother's Day I've Waited So Long For

Being given the job to be your mother is the greatest blessing I have ever known.
05/13/2017 08:02am ET | Updated May 13, 2017
Kei Uesugi via Getty Images

For the past eight Mother’s Days, I’ve felt the sting of longing to be a parent. I suffered the feelings of loss over the course of rigorous fertility treatments and the many pregnancies that didn’t make it to term.... or anywhere close.

Like so many others, I know what a painful day this can be, not just those who’ve lost pregnancies, or children, but also those who’ve lost their Moms. Mother’s Day is a day of gratitude but it’s also a day of longing for those who wish so badly they could celebrate with those they’ve lost.

My story finally has a happy ending. This year I am so grateful to finally be looking into the eyes of my beautiful baby boy. I finally understand the broken road that led me to such a wonderful outcome.

They say that before you choose adoption, parents should unattach themselves from any preceding loss ― if loss is part of the family’s story. I don’t want to forget all that it took to find the child that was meant to be ours. I don’t want to miss remembering one moment of all it took to find a love as wonderful as this.

Our story is one of hope… and it’s one of success. I want to share the love I have looking at this amazing child, so that those who are on the road to parenthood understand that although it may be rocky, it can be paved with gold.

To my son,

From the moment I laid eyes on you, my heart was healed. Your Dad and I walked through a very painful path to find you, but we wouldn’t change one second of that journey. It makes our happy ending so much more meaningful. I’d walk those shards of glass and pain, and a million more, to get to you.

You are our son. Your journey to us was written in the stars, long before I was able to read it. You are perfect in every way. Being given the job to be your mother is the greatest blessing I have ever known.

“Those who are on the road to parenthood understand that although it may be rocky, it can be paved with gold.”

When you smile, everything makes sense. I know our road ahead will have all sorts of hills and valleys, but I’d walk through fire to spend our lifetimes together. I will always be by your side, and when it’s tough, I will carry you through it.

I want you to become whatever and whoever you choose. I will love you through every single moment, even when I am tired, or frustrated, I will always be there for you. Your happiness is my life’s work, and even when you are unhappy, I will give you the unconditional love you need to know you are supported in every way.

Your Dad and I chose you. We took a leap ― with nothing but faith ― knowing we’d find you someday. We had so much love in our hearts and we waited patiently to give it to you. We are so grateful to your Birth Mom, every minute of every day, for bringing you into this world and for loving you beyond measure.

“We are so grateful to your Birth Mom, every minute of every day, for bringing you into this world and for loving you beyond measure.”

We will get through life’s challenges together. We will celebrate life’s victories, together. Every inch of every mile, we will do it together. You are our heart, your life is our greatest celebration.

We hope you know, every minute of every day, how loved you are. We hope it’s written on your heart, how precious you are. We hope you know how hard we prayed for you, and how every single prayer was answered the moment you entered our lives.

Being a mother, is every bit as rewarding as I hoped. I cherish the responsibilities it includes. I try to meet every moment with gratitude. You are loved and adored, and each and every day, I will make sure you know how just how much.

Life will not always be fair to you, but it will prepare you to fully understand the reasons to celebrate joy. You are our joy and we celebrate you.

You’ve healed my heart. You’ve made me a mother. I will spend your whole life showing you how much that means to me.

I love you, sweet baby, I always have, and I always will.

With love on our first Mother’s Day,

Your Mom