With every shooting, I wonder if I will get the call that my mentally ill, adult daughter has done the deed. It is a chill that runs through every mother of a mentally ill child and the odds grow greater with every mass killing.
Now mind you, the majority of parents dealing with a mentally disturbed child realize that no matter how many psychotic episodes they have, it is highly unlikely they would ever take a life, but the brain is an organ we still don’t have all the answers to. The likelihood of a child raised in a normal, middle class family, who appeared to be brilliant at times until the age of 19 years old, becoming a mass murderer is marginal. But the likelihood that my daughter would ever be arrested twice for assaulting a police officer was also unforeseeable. The likelihood that my daughter could ever buy a gun seems impossible too, given she’s been in and out of psyche wards. But the shooter in Sutherland Springs, Texas who murdered 26 church goers, 14 of them children, had a record of abuse too and yet, was able to legally purchase an automatic weapon. The aftermath headlines read, “Shooter Should Not Have Been Able to Buy a Gun!”
I won’t get into the “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” argument because the stupidity of military grade weapons in the hands of untrained citizens, the mentally deranged and criminals is obvious to anyone with half a brain. The slaughter of 6 and 7 year old babies at Sandy Hook Elementary in 2012, should have compelled Congress to at the very least, restrict assault rifles. While this country has bantered the gun laws and second amendment rights for decades, absolutely NOTHING has changed. Congress is in bed and giving daily BJ’s to the NRA while Americans are being slaughtered at concerts, church and schools. The government of the USA is uncaring, corrupt and callous more than ever before.
Conversely, the issue of mental illness has never been addressed to any great degree in America and yet the last few mass shootings were planned by men who were in fact, mentally ill. How does a country of such wealth, intelligence and with incredible resources sleep at night, knowing the next shooter lives right next door in the angry teen or incoherent adult?
In a Newsweek article, Reuters reporter Brian Snyder writes: “Every year, about 42.5 million American adults (or 18.2 percent of the total adult population in the United States) suffers from some mental illness, enduring conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, statistics released Friday reveal. The data, compiled by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration also indicate that approximately 9.3 million adults, or about 4 percent of those Americans ages 18 and up, experience “serious mental illness” – that is, their condition impedes day-to-day activities, such as going to work. http://www.newsweek.com/nearly-1-5-americans-suffer-mental-illness-each-year-230608
My child, now a 44 year old woman, started life as normal as any healthy child in America, even excelling in cello while in high school. Her grades were exceptional all throughout her schooling. It was only in her late teens and early twenties that we noticed behavioral issues, followed by violent fits of rage. One day she would have you laughing with her quick wit and delightful personality and the next day, she’d grab you around the neck, and while straggling you, scream, “I will kill you!” For years everyone in my small Texas family thought she was just a typical red head, full of fire and passion. But then the rage turned to psychosis and she would walk into a strangers home, Bible in hand and proclaim that they were going to hell because they let their children watch “Harry Potter.” The bouts of crazy train continued and turned into her living in squalor with cats running amuck and urine and feces filling the house her deceased great-grandmother left her. My husband and I tried everything from getting her counseling, to overseeing her medications to helping her with her education and job search, all to no avail.
Today, she sits in jail, found sleeping in a convenience store bathroom after being kicked out of her apartment by her roommate. When they woke her she went ballistic and attacked the arresting officer. It is a sad moment when you feel grateful that at least in jail, she has a warm bed and food for 30 days, but then what? I don’t want to get the call that she was found frozen to death, sleeping on the streets. I went down to the Police Dept. and spoke with a sergeant trying to get help and to learn what could be done. His advice was for me to get a gun or buy some pepper spray. “Yea I thought, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll shoot my kid or blind her with pepper spray! NOT!” I called the District Attorney, the Judge hearing the case, social workers from the city and the Sheriff, and NO ONE would send her for assessment to a psyche unit where she could be stabilized. The system is systemically broken and no one seems to care about the wailing, flailing mental cases filling jail cells every day. An officer told me that in the city I live in at least 20% of those they arrest are mentally ill or psychotic! I remarked, “Is that really an accurate number?” and his reply was, “Yes, hard to believe but I see it every day of the week.”
The problem is this: a sociopath or mentally ill person does not think anything is wrong with them; everyone else is to blame for their trials and failures in life. Additionally, you cannot encroach upon the civil rights of anyone over the age of 21, thus you cannot institutionalize her so she can get the help she needs. The pathetic caveat is this, until she kills or severely injures someone there is nothing we can do.
I recently watched an episode of Dr. Phil whereas the parents were in my position. They had a grown son displaying the same kind of hallucinations and psychosis my daughter is currently displaying. After going on national television for help, the end of the show brought absolutely no tangible results. Their son is of age to reject the help Phil offered at a treatment center in Malibu. I turned the television off depleted and sunk into the realization that there simply is no answer. I am certain, parents nationwide, who walk in my shoes, feel the same.
Until we address this issue and implement laws which help, protect and treat the mentally ill, the likelihood of an epidemic of mentally ill shooters grows greater with each passing day.
Ariaa Jaeger is a Spiritual Life Strategist, prof. intuitive and listed as one of the “Top 200 Most Influential Authors in the World” To learn more about her visit her website www.ariaa.com