“Westworld” is about to turn into a s**t show.
Season 1 of the sci-fi thriller did a good job of providing fans closure on a number of questions — for example, yes, William (Jimmi Simpson) is indeed the same dude as the Man in Black (Ed Harris) and Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) is actually a robot.
But there’s still a litany of mysteries that need solvin’.
Is Ford (Anthony Hopkins) really dead? Did Dolores (Evan Rachel Wood) truly solve the maze? Why is everyone always drinking milk?
(Dairy goes again ... )
There’s another mystery that originates deep down in the bowels of the park, and though it may not be your biggest unanswered question, it’s at least No. 2.
Do the robots poop?
The hosts in the “Westworld” park are made to appear like humans in almost every way. It’d make sense that they have the same bodily functions, too. But if Season 1 taught viewers anything, it’s that we can assume nothing.
In Episode 2 of the first season, we get the answer to the No. 1 mystery — Hey, do the robots urinate? — when the Man in Black tells an android named Lawrence (Clifton Collins Jr.), “I know the tune you whistle when you’re taking a piss.”
OK, so they have to poop, right?
HBO has been strangely coy about the whole issue. While HuffPost’s own Ashley Feinberg was writing for Deadspin, a rep told her shortly after the first season ended, “We don’t have any info to share.”
The lack of response shook her trust in the show.
“I think that, if you’re going to create a show about robots designed to fulfill humans’ most base desires, you should have to be prepared to answer some uncomfortable questions. For instance, what about people who like to be pooped on?” Feinberg told me. “What I discovered is that HBO is clearly not prepared to answer those questions, and I’m not sure my faith in them as a brand can ever be restored.”
Thankfully, one of the hosts from the park has finally cut the crap.
In a recent interview, I asked actor Steven Ogg, who plays villainous host Rebus, the all-important poop question. He didn’t give the info up easily, asking for clarification multiple times.
Do hosts poop?
Do what?
(Louder) Do hosts poop?
That’s why I had to ask again. Do hosts poo? That’s what you said, right?
Then he revealed the hot, stinking, truth.
“Hosts take the biggest dukes of all, man, huge robot shits,” he said, continuing like he had taken a truth laxative.
“You think that steaming three-coiler of a dog in the middle of winter on a snowy bank is nasty? Good God, when you see a host lay one down, it’s like a sandcastle, motherfucker!”
I’m not sure I’ll be able to look at sandcastles, or even the Beyoncé song “Sandcastles,” the same way again. But, at least, finally, there’s an answer.
Robot turds just seem natural, especially after all the aforementioned milk that some hosts — in particular, Ogg’s Rebus — consumed in the early parts of Season 1. A few episodes in, however, the milk oddly disappeared. Ogg still doesn’t know what that was about.
“Yeah, I’m curious. I’m gonna ask [series co-creator Jonathan Nolan] about that. I was like, ‘What the fuck’s with all the milk?’ And then the milk disappeared. It seemed to be like Rebus’ thing.”
Season 2 apparently won’t have a “hell of a lot” of Rebus (though if you see any sandcastles, you know what he’s been up to), but there will be a small twist coming with the character.
“I’m excited and I’m super happy with [Nolan and co-creator Lisa Joy’s] direction ... because it was a turn. It was something different for Rebus, and I’m super excited about that.”
Shit’s about to go down in more ways than one.
“Westworld” Season 2 premieres Sunday, April 22, on HBO.
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