The Number One Secret That Takes You From Pain To Empowerment!

The Number One Secret That Takes You From Pain To Empowerment!
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Life is our mirror, pure and simple.

It gives us exactly what we need in each moment to learn and move forward with increased ease, flow and equanimity. That is, if we trust the gift. So how do we begin to notice these hidden gems being offered daily by way of our difficulties?

The answer is to first become curious and listen with an open heart and mind, trusting that this new way has the ability to bring us more wisdom than we ever imagined possible. Instead of going into blame, despair or powerlessness, if we can instead look at what this may be teaching us, we will immediately feel more empowered. It can be a relief to contemplate a new belief that life is happening for us not to us! What follows are some questions to examine, but there can be many more. Extrapolate for your particular situation.

Are you feeling unheard, unseen or ignored in your relationships at home or at work?

Do you feel bored with your life?

Are you often disappointed and rejected?

Feel like others don’t take you seriously?

Angry or irritated more than you’d like to be?

Whatever or whoever it is you are having problems with, take some quiet time to reflect on the details. Please be gentle with yourself, as this is not about blame, but rather, discovery.

Here is the Hidden Gift:

The more we feel upset by someone or something outside of ourselves, the more likely it is that we do this towards ourselves in some way. There is some healing needed. What might this look like for you? The universe gives us the same situation again and again, until we finally learn the lesson.

Please note, I’m talking about when we feel these things to a degree that is bothersome, recurring and robbing us of joy and peace. We don’t stop having difficult feelings. It’s when we get caught up in them that they are problematic, and most likely recurring to teach us what we most need to know!

Using these Gems for Transformation

Perhaps we are getting triggered by our partner’s habits, but it’s because we are bothered by our own foibles, and haven’t made the shift we’d ultimately like to. We start to clean up our side of the street, and BAM, our partner stops triggering us with that same intensity.

If we feel continually disappointed by others or unappreciated by them, it’s likely we don’t appreciate ourselves in some way, and need to practice self-care, giving to ourselves what we are seeking externally. I can guarantee that as soon as you give these things to yourself, you will feel less disappointed and unappreciated by the outside world. Many of us don’t even know what we need, much less how to give it to ourselves. THAT IS THE LESSON. Look within and ask yourself what this might be.

As soon as we invest in a new habit of self care, giving to ourselves what is lacking, we feel a new contentedness as well as appreciation for life and attract in more giving people! When we show ourselves we are worthy by our own actions, others follow suit, and value us as well. Suddenly those same people who let us down may become more giving, or no longer take space in our valuable lives. We stop attracting in selfish people who don’t have our best interests at heart.

Bored? Yup, you’ve got it, how are you boring yourself? That is the golden question. We all experience boredom at times, it’s normal. But if it’s continual and you feel numb like you’ve lost you mojo, it’s time to ask yourself how you can find something new and different to engage in. If you feel this way, start to tune in and ask what it is that you need to do that you might be avoiding? Are you numbing out on electronics or alcohol? These are the moments to notice what else we need or desire, start to take one step out of out of the haze and get out of our own way!

Want excitement? Step out of the box and do something that feels exciting and different! Want romance? Act romantic .Bring yourself or a friend flowers, draw a bath or write someone a love letter.

Feeling critical of others? How might you ease up on yourself? Do you only expect perfection? Look no further than how you berate yourself. Can you be loving and kind to yourself instead? The more you learn to talk to yourself with calm encouragement, the more accepting you’ll feel not only with yourself, but with others as well.

Simply put, what we put out we get back. Practice being who you want to attract in love, friendship and life in general. It takes an open heart and mind and the willingness to try a new way. Try a daily practice of asking yourself if you feel let down, frustrated, angry or disappointed, and see if you can start to give to yourself what you are craving from others. May this be the gift of a lifetime, leading you to embrace the opportunity in each challenge you face with a bit more ease and empowerment.

* For daily tips and inspiration, join my private Facebook group:

.And visit my website at

My mission is to inspire women to rise up and embrace themselves fully, shine their bright light in the world and find what brings them joy and purpose on a daily basis! I love seeing others move forward with clarity into a limitless life they love with confidence. One step can lead to a beautiful view of possibility!

Go To Homepage

Popular in the Community