The recession hasn't been too kind to a lot of our most valued industries. The housing market crashed, people are out of work, and now of all things, the suspicious package industry is failing! We thought if we could bank on one thing this year it'd be that. Shame on you suspicious package industry, you should be more industrious.
(We at HuffPost Comedy realize that terrorism is no laughing matter, and we're sure The Onion realizes that too... probably.)