I will tell you a true story that took place in a small city in north India. A farmer from a very small village arrived to a private hospital seeking medical assistance for his daughter. His daughter was barely 16 years old and pregnant. This was his daughter’s first pregnancy and she was profusely bleeding. When he arrived to the hospital he was told his daughter couldn’t be admitted without him paying the hospital fees upfront. He stood at the cashier stall pleading in tears knowing that his daughter’s life was in danger. An obstetrician and gynecologist who worked at that hospital noticed the frazzled father and asked him what was wrong. After seeing his daughter and understanding the urgency of her condition, the physician told the hospital to take the fees out of her salary so his daughter can be admitted for an emergent surgery. The farmer’s daughter’s life was saved that day; the physician who saved her life was my mother.
Dr. Pratima Swarup far right with her colleagues and mentor Dr. Samanth
Life in India was defined by the roles my mom played on a daily basis. Every day she showed up as a mother, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, and a physician. Though she distributed her energy equally ensuring all facets of her life were covered, her children were always a top priority. I have memories of accompanying her to the operating room and watching her work when no one was available to babysit. At times when she picked me up from school we would stop by a kebab house to devour some delectable kebabs. And, I can recall multiple times when she would plan trips and adventures so her children would understand childhood intimately. Even though I was at the center of her world, nonetheless she never lagged behind in other parts of her life.
This isn’t just my mother’s story; this is the story of immigrant mothers. Many immigrant mothers give up their successful lives in their native countries to start anew for the sake of a better future. They sacrifice themselves in obvious and often subtle ways so their children can flourish in life. They learn strange, new languages, acquire novel skills, and integrate into a culture they eventually adopt to be their very own. Yet in the midst of all this, they remain grounded by their roots and always respect their origin. At their core they are resilient, ambitious, innovative, and hardwired to continue growing.
As a first generation American I can unequivocally affirm that my success is in many ways due to my mother. She has first-handedly displayed what hard work, courage, sacrifice, and patience looks like. Ultimately she has shown me the power and light that we all have within us. My mother gave up her medical career when we moved to America, obtained her masters in Public Health and redefined her vocation. She continues to change and impact lives of many in California, always staying true to what is in her heart. She has also remained close to her family, both in India and America, and has created a vast social support for herself. Her social life is richer than my very own and her ability to make new friends astounds me every time. As a first generation American and a daughter, I look up to all the phenomenal immigrant mothers, without whom this world would not go round, and without whom daughters like myself would fall short of substantial role models.