Here's what my Plan looked like, in a nutshell.
I lived abroad from 2003-2010 in Lisbon, Portugal because my parents wanted to move back to their hometown. As a daughter of Portuguese Immigrants (and being 1st generation), I always lived simultaneously in two worlds.
I had met someone overseas, we had gotten married but I was moving back to Philadelphia (where I grew up) in September, 2010 as my life was falling to pieces. I didn't know yet that I was going to file for a divorce but I knew that I couldn't live the life I had known any longer.
So I literally quit my job in Lisbon and moved back to Philadelphia, with close to $1,000 in my pocket and nothing more to my name. I moved back into my parent's house (my dad was still in the US), where I slept on an air mattress for a few months and focused on taking it one day at a time.
I had a job two weeks later because I had been targeting companies on LinkedIn that Summer and had an interview waiting for me as soon as I landed. I owe this to my background in Talent Acquisition and there was a specific strategy I used (if you'd like to know what it was, just let me know).
I focused on looking ahead and staying positive. I saved up just enough money to move into my own 350 sq. ft. studio six months later and had just enough to get by.
Every plan looks different.
Now let's break it down.
I knew where I was going, I knew someone in my new location (PHL) that facilitated the transition (that doesn't mean you need to but it does make it easier), I had an interview (for a potential job I was qualified for) lined up and I had a financial plan to keep myself moving forward.
So let's be honest - what have you got to lose? You are finding the pieces of your puzzle to slowly put them back together again. Or maybe you're starting a whole new puzzle.
You are on your way back up.
Revisit your priorities, and focus on moving ahead and creating a plan.
Explore. Meet new people. Give yourself the opportunity to feel genuine connection.
Plan so that you can then change the plan, as you go. That was always the hardest part for me - being less hard on myself as I was learning and navigating my new life. It was being self-forgiving every time something unexpected came my way and I didn't know how to react to it.
Embrace your surroundings and don't seek for your own healing in them.
Instead, look for yourself in these surroundings. Allow them to seek you and feel what they bring.
Ask for help along the way.
In my own journey, I allowed myself to feel stuck for certain periods of time because I was scared to show weakness and speak up.
The Lesson I have learned: Speak up and let your voice be heard. Soothe away all the other voices around that tell you "you're not good enough".
This world we live in feeds the thought of perfection and process. Life process - e.g. the career, the family, the big home.
You are good enough.
You are invincible.
And here's a little secret: No one around you has it all figured out.
Stand for what YOU want and know that everyone else around you is facing their own struggles, despite of what they share on Social Media.
Be unfiltered. This is your chance to live the life you've always wanted.
This is your second chance so grab it and stand tall.
Really think about how you are going to embrace this new life you've been given.
Consistent small steps drive life changing results, so what's your plan?
I hope you enjoyed reading this article! It is a chapter in my Free Ultimate Guide to Starting Over after Divorce.
You can download the complete guide here: www.vanessag.me
Starting over looks different for everyone.