Yesterday, in the late hours of the evening, I had a couple of snide remarks spoken to me (in front of others, at that) ― enough to bring my blood to the boiling point. I tried to “nip it in the bud” before it continued on, but was unsuccessful. I could literally feel my blood pressure rise, with that lump in my throat that forms as I try to hold back tears, because it takes me to a place that I do not want to go. I know that we can’t all be at the same level in maturity, but I do know that we have a choice in what exits our mouth. It’s simply a choice.
Back in the day, one would not get away with speaking to me in a rude or disrespectful manner. It only took one time, and I would let that person know that they could go and fly a kite. Not to just go and fly their kite, but what color it should be, the length their string should amount to, the elevation in which it should fly, and what way the wind should be blowing when they go to fly that kite.
I was not a very nice person if you got on my bad side.
I’m really quite embarrassed when I think about it. I find peace in knowing where and who I now am.
Now, I see life through a different lens. Some of it due to really bad experiences that I have survived, and some, what I am still pressing through. I don’t care to walk along the shore any longer. Sure it’s beautiful with seashells and colorful rocks, but the sunset is seen with such rich color and beauty the deeper you travel through the waves.
My experience yesterday evening reassured me that I’m still on the right path. That Christ can, and does, change people. All you need is the desire to press on. I made that choice at the age of 25, and haven’t looked back. Ten years later, and I’m still journeying with strength and hope from the One who fills me daily.
What was meant to belittle me in front of others, turned out to be a gift to me in the end. I gained strength in keeping quiet, walking away, shaking the dust off my feet ... and placing it at His feet. He can have the last word.