I've been doing this really interesting thing lately. I found something called the Urban Sweat Lodge, based on the sweating out of poisons in the body. Trapping yourself in a hot blanket for 50 minutes and sweating out your toxins. It's an extremely powerful thing to do.
It gets real hot as you can imagine, so you watch TV and get lost. Otherwise you'll go nuts. So one of the things that I did was I watched HBO and saw Louis CK. I think he's an absolute genius of comedy and his observations about life.
During the show I was watching he said something interesting about divorce. He said divorce is the best thing that's ever happened to him.
He said until death do you part doesn't work. He said marriage is not forever, but divorce is. He said it's been the happiest four years of his life because he's been able to be present, and to be an amazing dad 50 percent of the time, and then the rest of the time he's amazing for himself.
I thought about it, and he's so right. When you're divorced, you spend so much time missing the family, or thinking about what could have been. When in reality, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. You're responsible for beautiful children that you have. You probably had some amazing times too.
Hopefully, you have a relationship with your ex that's healthy, maybe even healthier than it was when you were together. You support one another, not financially, but emotionally to find the love that both of you deserve.
Think about it. You want love with that person. That person you loved enough to bring children into this world with, and that person you once believed you were going to love forever. In reality, you still can. You still can love that person forever but in a whole different way.
The way we look at divorce should be different. You need to hold a candle, a flame for that person and love them for who they are. You should wish them well, and learn how to have a loving, co-parenting relationship. Develop a relationship where you're able to communicate as friends and co-parents in an open loving space.
I know to a lot of you that are reading this, this seems like a fantasy. It seems like a fantasy that will never come true. But I truly believe that we have the power to manifest whatever we want if we work at it.
Divorce is something that is part of life.
Imagine if you felt beautiful things with your ex. Imagine if you wished them well and hoped they found somebody great, because that's what they deserve, as do you. Divorce allows us to have a second, third, or even fourth shot at love. There's no limit to the amount of love that we can have in our lives. We can love as many times as we want. Our heart is endless. Our heart has no closed chambers. Our heart doesn't know limits, only our ego and mind creates limits.
The mind, the brain and the ego are the ones who are angry. Choosing to remain angry at somebody, choosing to remain pissed off is your ego. I've heard so many divorced people come to me and say, "God, I just wish my ex was dead; I can't stand them."
You're creating hate and anger that will last for the rest of your life. It didn't work out. You don't have the family life that you were supposed to have. Your kids have suffered. But they don't have to. If two people are loving to one another in a friendly environment, support one another and co-parent in a productive, loving way, your kids will benefit and so will you.
I'm tired of seeing angry divorced people.
You choose the anger in divorce because it's your ego. You choose anger because you're pissed off that it didn't work out, or that you chose the wrong person. Learn the real lesson behind it and start spinning the positives.
The positive is that the two of you can be good influences in each other's lives, be a good support system for each other. And if you take the negative energy and turn it into positive, you can even help each other find love again.
We all deserve to be loved as many times as we can in life. Love is the reason we're here on this planet. Sure, it's great to make money, and I love driving my fancy car and wearing great clothes. I love living in a great house. But in reality it's all empty unless you have love. Love is the only reason to live. So support your ex through divorce, and happiness awaits!