The Presidential Timeline

So here's the timeline...

Deranged sociopath takes the reins of newly created football league and fails miserably.

Sixty-year-old rich a-hole brags to an entertainment reporter about how he can grab women's pussies because he's famous.

Rich man who ran a fake university to screw working people out of their money won't disavow Klansman David Duke's support.

Reality star host, who was given fourteen-million dollars by his father and, through a series of incompetent business moves made *less* money than if he just put it in the bank and literally did nothing, condemns the nation's intelligence agencies while throwing his support to an enemy nation.

The Education Secretary nominee tells Congress, during her hearings, that she won't enforce the federal law that protects disabled students.

Donald Trump becomes the forty-fifth President of the United States.

Twenty-million Americans lose their health care.

Americans pay billions of dollars for a Mexican wall that never gets built.

President Trump in furious late-night Twitter battle with actor Alec Baldwin.

President Trump's approval rating falls to 17 percent, according to sixty different independent polls. (Though to be fair, the Rasmussin poll has the President polling in the mid-eighties. "That's because the other polls are biased and aren't including the spirit of Mexican-hating ghosts," says Rasmussin spokesman Tom Nimitwiz, host of "The Nimitwiz Report" on the Fox Business Channel.)

The Unemployment rate continues to rise.

President Trump in furious Twitter battle with child star Ariel Winter of Modern Family.

The nation is now in a trade war with China, causing American inflation to soar.

After promising corporate welfare for Burger King, the giant fast food company promises not to eliminate forty jobs. Hashtag #ThanksDonald breaks the Internet. (Those Burger King employees will be paid the new, lesser minimum wage.)

Angry white losers' lives still suck. A movement to blame Koreans has begun.

President Trump in furious Twitter battle with the kids from the Shriners Hospital commercial.

The last of any climate change legislation has been dismantled. Republican Senator from Arkansas, Tom Cotton, blames ensuing hurricanes decimating the lives of thousands of Midwesterners on a combination of Planned Parenthood (which is no longer in operation) and welfare recipients.

President Trump tweets that the White House is haunted by ghosts. These ghosts, he says, are to blame for rising teen pregnancy rates. Fox News host Sean Hannity calls the tweets "refreshing #thinkingoutsidethebox."

Rifts with our European allies bring about more violence and chaos in the Middle East.

President Trump in furious Twitter battle with ex-wife Marla Maples and ex-wife Ivana Trump and ex-wife Melania.

Khloe Kardashian dating her estranged husband Lamar Odom.

JC Penney closes 23 more stores around the country. After meeting with President Trump personally, JC Penney CEO agrees to include "Merry Christmas" in its holiday sales promotions.

President Trump's cabinet members see a 30% boost in their personal wealth. Angry white losers see a 20% decrease in their personal income. A movement to blame Lena Dunham has begun.

President Trump no longer answering questions from any legitimate news media outlets. White House Chief-of-Staff Reince Priebus calls the end of a free press "refreshing."

Fewer illegal immigrants are actually being deported than during the Obama administration, and yet deportation costs seem to be rising. President Trump in furious Twitter battle with Bruce Springsteen. (note: Springsteen himself is not on Twitter.)

As unemployment rate skyrockets, President Trump personally saves 35 jobs at MyPillow factory in Minnesota. MyPillow inventor Mike Lindell nowhere to be found.

President Trump, ignoring NATO vote, supports Russia's incursion into Poland. Trump spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway explains tells reporters that the President still fully supports NATO.

President Trump in Twitter battle with whatever.

Lamar Odom caught on TMZ cameras dining with another woman.

Citing growing concert about his mental health, Congressional Republicans take steps to remove President Trump from office.

President Trump in Twitter battle with Congressional Republicans.

President Trump agrees to step down from the job he stopped doing fifteen months ago, citing "undisclosed medical issue."

President Pence becomes the 46th President of the United States.

President Pence vows to "eliminate" Ruth Bader Ginsberg, though he doesn't specify what that means.

Bill passes through Congress: Abortion banned in all fifty states unless the father explicitly gives permission and at least six of his dude friends are allowed to watch the mother's medical gynecological exam.

Angry white losers unemployment and fat rate at 100%. A movement to blame the women who want to decriminalize abortion begins.

Khloe Kardashian in furious Twitter battle with Lamar Odom.

2020 Presidential Election Results. President Pence wins re-election despite losing the popular vote by 70 million votes. Host of popular reality show "Grab 'Em By The YouKnowWhat" Donald Trump congratulates President Pence for winning the popular vote.

When asked why he didn't vote for Democratic nominee Elizabeth Warren, angry unemployed white voter Bill Gilmore- Pence supporters- of Wisconsin simply replied, "Eh, there was just something about her I didn't like."