I’m going to preface this piece by saying I am undecided when it comes to safe spaces. I understand their purpose and their necessity, at times, in society, but at the same time, I believe, if used in excess, they diminish important conversations that need to be had in order for our country to progress.
That being said, one thing I have explicitly decided I despise is hypocrisy, the preaching without the practicing, the rule that applies to everyone but me. Obviously everyone makes mistakes and I try to be understanding about this. But when someone makes a living, someone has literally built a career around criticizing safe spaces, it’s not so easy to excuse them when they start to built their own little safe space.
I’m talking about Tomi Lahren, of course. The young woman who has become a sensation across America for her critiques of the liberal snowflakes, the “protestors” on the “sacred land”, the “cry babies”, her messages of ‘goodbye safe spaces, hello freedom’, hurt feelings over Trump’s win, and snowflakes wanting safe spaces.
From what I could tell, she despised safe spaces, loved the first amendment, and believes that the American people, liberals and democrats in particular, are incredibly sensitive and too easily offended. That’s fair. That’s her opinion and I, like her, love the First Amendment and our guaranteed right to freedom of speech. So when I posted the photo below on the Femislay Instagram account and tagged her in it and writing in the caption “@tomilahren this is you and your petty followers”, I wasn’t expecting her to be so easily offended and sensitive and so hurt that she would block the Femislay account. After all, she decries any censorship of her voice as oversensitive, she demolishes the concept safe spaces for people who are too weak to take the truth. I thought, since she's a true, opinionated, freedom of speech loving, American, she could take an opinion different from her but no, my opinion was not welcome her bubble the size of a snow globe. In fact, I may have even offended her. Talk about a little snowflake.
Now, I get it. No one likes getting their feelings hurt, especially if you’re a sensitive, emotional, basket case who cries at the drop of a hat like myself. But there’s a difference between avoiding getting your feelings hurt and entirely avoiding a critique of your opinions. But there’s some degree of responsibility and understanding that comes with being a public figure, whether it be on social media, in Hollywood, as a businessperson or on the political stage. An understanding that you more you expose yourself and your opinions, you’re going to receive a number of resounding echoes telling you that you are correct, but you’re also going to receive a similar number of people critiquing you. That’s just the way it is. Our president elect needs to learn this lesson before next month.
Obviously I’m not as well known on Instagram (464k followers for her vs. 11k followers on Femislay) but I’m still subject to a gross amount of insults and attacks. I’ve been called a cu*t, a bit*h, told I should have my teeth knocked out by a man so I can give better blow jobs, that I tried to win but instead I’m going to get bent over and raped, that I am the worst kind of human, that the world be a better place if I wasn’t born, etc.
But based on my principles and my belief in the First Amendment, I never block any of these people, I never delete comments, and I always try to respond to people who firmly believe feminism is the equivalent of cancer, thanking them for taking the time to express their opinion on my page. Because I try to practice what I preach, I try to listen to all opinions, even those that insult my being because, as Audre Lorde said, it’s not our differences, but our refusal to recognize these differences, that ultimately divide us.
Going back to where this all began, I’m still undecided the practice of safe spaces, although in principle I recognize the necessity. I am, however, so very certain that Tomi Lahren is the one of the most practiced supporters of safe spaces. Using a very broad definition, safe spaces are places where people can express their identity, opinions and thoughts without being challenged or made to feel unwelcome because of their specific identity or their opinions. The key here is unchallenged.
The world in which Tomi Lahren exists is one where she can condemn the actions of others, calling it freedom of speech, but if anyone dare to condemn her words, they are close-minded, unwelcoming, too sensitive, easily offended, snowflakes, as she likes to say. It’s a world where everyone who expresses an opinion that she doesn’t agree with is sensitive, whereas she is able to tell it like it is. It’s a world without critical thinking. It’s a world that refuses to accept diversity, in skin color, opinions, and thought.
A world that doesn’t recognize that every individual is different, that yes people may all look the same clustered in a giant pile but upon closer examination, each one is different in their own individual way; almost like a world of snowflakes.
It’s a world built around a young lady’s incredibly fragile ego, a lady who can dish it but can’t take it, who can speak but can’t listen, who claims she appreciates diverse thoughts but has built an entire career around condemning the expression of these diverse thoughts. A world where she is beholden to no consequences for her words or actions even though she is entitled to call people on their bullshit. A world where her condemnation of someone else’s words is simply an opinion but condemnation of her words is a blatant display of oversensitivity and intolerance. And most importantly, her world is a safe space.
This post originally appeared on femislay.com