The Question I Still Wonder Two Decades After My Parents Split Up

"I've always struggled to imagine how two adults raise a child together."
Writer ReeRee Rockette and her dad.
ReeRee Rockette
Writer ReeRee Rockette and her dad.

“When My Parents Split Up” is a HuffPost series that explores what it’s like to have your parents divorce at all ages, from infancy to adulthood. Want to share your experience as a child of divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com

ReeRee Rockette was only six when her parents split up. At 33, the London-based writer and hair salon owner admits she still feels a sense of "bewilderment" over whether a truly happy nuclear family can exist.

Below, Rockette, who owns the salon Rockalily Cuts, tells us more about the impact of her parents' split.

Breaking The News:

I believe I was six when my dad left home. I remember only small parts of the day. I recall screaming and crying and sitting on my dad's foot as he walked to the front door. It's a heartbreaking memory; I wish I could just reach back and comfort the child version of me. My dad then peeled my fingers from his thighs and left. It must have been pretty heartbreaking for my parents, too. I remember my mother explaining it wasn't my fault, although it's entirely possible that this happened on a different day.

The First Few Years:

I didn't see my dad for quite a while and I missed him deeply. I have vague memories of resenting my mother for it. I was a daddy's girl and easily blamed her. After a while, I was allowed short weekend visits, which slowly developed into staying over. My parents struggled to talk to each other 'till I was much older. My dad had to drop me off at the end of the street. I remember a lot of anger and sadness but my parents loved me and only did their best.

Growing up, ReeRee was "always a daddy's girl."
ReeRee Rockets
Growing up, ReeRee was "always a daddy's girl."

The Impact:

I had no complete families around me growing up, so I've always struggled to imagine how two adults raise a child together. I'm much older now, but still carry some of that bewilderment with me: How do two adults raise a child? Do men ever really stay?

Her Relationship With Her Parents Today:

My dad sadly died when I was 15. I was always a daddy's girl. He praised intelligence, curiosity and hard work. These are still qualities I value. I remember him with much love. My relationship with my mother was strained until I hit my mid-20s, but now I call her daily and love having her in my life. She's an independent woman and has ensured I am, too.

The Takeaway:

Try to remember that your parents are just people and that they carry their own baggage from their own parents. They're doing their best and they deserve to chose their own happiness just as we do.

Before You Go

Love After Divorce

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE